I Know There’s No Winning at “Family” but I Totally Win

The Butcher is all, “Now, B., I regularly get up earlier than you so I’ll just go ahead and get up at my normal time, take a shower, pack, and wake you up.  Then I’ll take the dog for a walk while you’re getting ready, because, we both know you’ll never be up as early as me, because I wake up earlier than you, because I rule and girls drool.”

All I can say is my butt was up at 5:30 waking his butt up.

Ha ha!

Anyway, yes, there is no winning at “Family,” for if there were, I would be taking Mrs. Wigglebottom with me to the Arkansas of the North*.  But, alas, I am not.

I’m sure that she will be fine.  She loves laying around the house eating, sleeping, and farting and she’ll be able to do all of those things in her favorite spot, which is to say, here.

Still, I hate leaving her behind.  It’s best for everyone.  I just hate it.

And I am tired, so tired of being so out of sorts and I see no way to get back into sorts but to get through this weekend and get home to my dog.

Really, there are only four people I would entrust Mrs. Wigglebottom to in a perfect world and one is coming with me to Michigan, one is meeting us in Michigan, one is with her family in Chicago, and the other is on his way to Wisconsin.

So, we’re going to the B team.

Please, World, keep the Red-headed Kid in your thoughts until Sunday.  Think things like “Don’t forget to go let Mrs. Wigglebottom out.”  “Spend some time playing video games and just hanging out at the house.  She likes the company.”  “Be sure to rub her belly.” and most importantly–“Hold on tightly to her leash when walking her.  Do not lose that dog.  Please, please, please.”

Anyway, we’re bringing the laptop, so I’ll blog when I can find the internet.  But it may be spotty at times.

Also, keep Plimco in your thoughts.  Tonight is the opening night of my play.

Break a leg, Plimco.

Okay, I think that’s everything.

Safe we come and safe we go and safe on our journey be.

Blessings good enough for Frigg are good enough for us.

*Michigan, I tease because I love.

3 thoughts on “I Know There’s No Winning at “Family” but I Totally Win

  1. Someday we have to match up our “Arkansas” trips. We’re not going for about another month…

  2. Thank you! I hope I don’t suck! I’ll be thinking of you as I’m shooting liquid fire out of my ass in the bathroom before the show tonight… Sweet sweet thoughts.

  3. There are many times that I wish I was a man, like when we were able to get my husband a whole new wardrobe at one men’s store. I also wish I could say things like “I rule, girls drool”.

    Oh, and “brother from another mother”, because “sister from another mister” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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