I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy (or Just a Yankee, Let’s be Honest)

When I was little, I used to think that song by Neil Diamond, the one where he’s all like “They’re coming to America (Today!)”, was the most patriotic song ever.

I used to sneak into the living room, where we were most definitely not allowed to play, and put that on the record player and choreograph elaborate routines to it that would instill in anyone who watched me dance a great love of this country and the wide variety of people who come here to live.

I was a weird child.

Right, but weird.