Dog Tired

I’m so tired. So, so tired.

I want to come up with something amusing for you, but here’s the only thing that springs to mind.  You know how when you have an itch?  Scratching an itch is a lot like having bad sex.  It’s nice to have the sensation, but the longer it goes on, the more apparent it is that no relief is coming.

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Yet Again, Martin Brady Chaps My Hide… or is it Chafes My Hide? No Matter.

Is this Martin Brady the same dude who writes for the Scene? If so, I have half a mind to take Mrs. Wigglebottom down to their new headquarters and let her meet him.

Once he’s charmed and enamored with her–as most folks quickly become–I’m going to pick her up and knock him upside the head with her.

Ha, no. I bet that would be bad for her knee. Speaking of which, we tried the half an aspirin thing last night, mixed in with some peanut butter. She slept on the floor, but I didn’t see her limping.

Anyway, we weren’t talking about Mrs. W. We were talking about Martin Brady.

Here are five things Martin Brady needs to know before insinuating that Michael Griffin is going to end up being the Titans’ Michael Vick.

1. The term “pit bull” is not just a breed, as I explain here. It can refer to a specific breed, a general ‘type’ of dog, or a dog with a specific job.

2. The AKC doesn’t recognize any breed called a “pit bull.” They recognize four types of dogs commonly referred to as “pit bulls”–the American Staffordshire Terrier, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, the Bull Terrier, and the Miniature Bull Terrier. If Michael Griffin is going around to dog shows looking at pit bulls, he’s most likely attending UKC events, because the UKC recognizes the American Pit Bull Terrier as an official breed.

3. You can look up Griffin’s kennel on the internet and take a look at how he’s presenting the dogs. Now, granted, folks don’t show everything, but I don’t see any dogs being tied up to car axles or so aggressive that they can’t hang out with other dogs. None of the dogs seem scarred or maimed. My point is that, from what evidence Griffin presents, there’s nothing to suggest that he is anything other than what he claims to be–a man interested in breeding a dog he thinks is bad-ass.

4. Since there is no journalistic standard for what’s considered a “pit bull,” forming your opinion about pit bulls based on what you read in the media is bound to be skewed. Pit bulls are thought to be vicious, therefore, often, when a vicious dog attacks, it’s just assumed to be a pit bull. Take a look at this post and these videos and get some knowledge.

5. I’m not claiming that Griffin is a saint. I don’t know anything about him. But lumping him in with Michael Vick because they both share passions for the same dogs is like lumping a rapist in with a good husband just because they both like to put their penises in women. Michael Vick is a sadistic fuck who enjoys hurting dogs and watching dogs hurt each other. Lumping Griffin in with Vick based solely on the type of dog he likes is a pretty serious allegation. If you have other reasons to believe that Griffin has issues, out with them. Otherwise, stop maligning pit bull owners.