Random Stuff of Kleinheider’s I Feel Needs Addressing

As a side note, I think I’m totally going to call Tiny Pasture, Lil’ P from here on out.

Lil’ P over at Volunteer Voters continues to bring me news that consternates me.  Let’s give each of them a moment, shall we?

Roger Abramson is back with The Scene.  Roger, I’m funny.  Can’t you encourage Liz to read and love me?  Fuck, Lil’ P, you’re practically her internet boyfriend.  Can’t you put in a good word for me?  I don’t know why it irritates me that Garrigan doesn’t know who I am, but it does.  In her mind, I’m not even a blogger worth disparaging.

— Well, by god, if David Oatney says it’s true, it must be true.  The Left hates Cubans. (Yeah, I don’t know either.)

–Okay, Lil’ P, let’s try basic reading comprehension.  Edwards said that all of his $500,000 advance went to charity.  The two co-authors on the book received $300,000 in an expense budget–in other words, they were given $300,000 to spend promoting the book.  It’s utterly unclear whether they received that money as a way to hide their advances or if they were supposed to spend that money promoting the book or what.  But it doesn’t matter.  John Edwards did not say that all the money HarperCollins gave the authors went to charity.  He said that all of his advance went to charity.  Think of it this way, if you said “I’m giving all of my income from WKRN to Aunt B.” and then WKRN came to you and said, ‘We want you to take this $35,000 and make a commercial for Volunteer Voters,’ would I have any right to expect that $35,000?  Of  course not.  That’s not a part of your income.  That’s the budget they gave you to do a task for work.

–Here’s what I don’t get.  Where in the New Testament did Jesus ever promise his followers that they could expect, nay had the right to expect, to never be made uncomfortable?  Did I miss the verse where Jesus was all like, “Dudes, following me is so easy.  You will never have to interact with people who are different than you.  You’ll never be expected to extend grace and mercy to those who need it, especially if you don’t like their families.  In fact, I pretty much expect you to be as cruel of fuckers as you can whenever you can.”?  Because, folks, if your Bible quotes the Savior of mankind as saying that, I’m pretty sure it means you’ve got your hands on a satanic bible.

Again, if Oatney says it, it must be true.  The racism on the anti-immigration side of the debate is equal to the racism on the immigration side of the debate.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go finish up my “Eat this tamale or Die, Cracker!” sign.

–Lil’ P did not link to this article by Blue Collar Muse, but I like to call it “No, Ladies, what I’m saying is that you’re too stupid to be held legally responsible for your actions.”  I, myself, after finishing up my “Eat this tamale or Die, Cracker!” sign, plan on going over to BCM’s house and paying one of his neighbors to bash him over the head and shoulders with it.  He’ll be pissed at the neighbor, sure, but, hey, I’ll come to regret paying that neighbor to bash him, and so I clearly deserve compassion and caring.

I wonder what other things I can get off the hook for just because I’m a woman…

8 thoughts on “Random Stuff of Kleinheider’s I Feel Needs Addressing

  1. Pertaining to your link about the church who called off a funeral when they found out the deceased was dead.

    Holy crap (is there a pun in there?), did you read the comments? The second comment was something along the lines of: Why couldn’t the family just have pretended the guy was straight so as not to disrepect the church (!!!).


  2. LMAO, I just re-read my comment:

    …when they found out the deceased was dead.

    Should have read, “when they found out the deceased was gay.” Yet I actually prefer “when they found out the deceased was dead.” That’s some funny shit there.

  3. Can’t you just imagine that church’s sermon last Sunday?

    “Y’all, just shut up about your problems and your grief and your need for consolation You struggling people are really embarassing us — you know we don’t hold with sin and human fraility around here and we feel like we know God’s business well enough to do His judging for Him because we’re just that good. And you, mentally disabled guy, shame on you for having a gay brother who you tricked us into praying for all these years. We’re ok with halfwits but we don’t like fags and even a retard like you ought to know that. Anyone else who wants to cast some stones, remember that the Pastoral Search Committee is meeting on Wednesday after Bible Study and don’t forget to pony up when we pass the plate. This sound system didn’t come cheap.”

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