Oh, Spanish Potato Dish, I Sing Your Praises

Someday, when I come to understand men, I’m going to quit writing this blog and turn my attention to writing a book about men, which will probably be called something like Ah, Men, It’s All So Clear Now that I’m 127.

Do I not spoil y’all enough?  Do I not run my fingers through your hair often enough and tell you how cute you are?  Do I not show you my boob freckle right here on the internet?

Well, it doesn’t matter.  Today, I am renouncing you.  I am through with men.  Hell, I am through with women.  I am through with sentient beings all together.

I’m leaving you, if you care, for NM’s Spanish potato dish I do not know the name of.  But it was amazing.  It had potatos.  It was in a dish.  The potatos were thinly sliced and there was some green pepper in there and the whole thing was held together by eggs.  My first thought was, “I would debase myself shamelessly for the person who would make this for me every day.” 

But then I thought, that’s ridiculous.  That’s like meeting a person with sparkling brown eyes and big dimples and trying to fuck their mom.

No, don’t go after the person who provided the object of your desire.  Go after the object of your desire.

So, Spanish potato dish, whose name I don’t know, I love you and really hope that you will move in with me and spoil me as completely as you spoiled my taste-buds last night.

23 thoughts on “Oh, Spanish Potato Dish, I Sing Your Praises

  1. No, it’s tortilla española. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, though. Although since I prepared it in order to make B my slave and she has seen through my ruse, it hardly matters any more. [Sniff.]

    B, you can do this yourself.

    Slice a couple of pounds of potatoes very, very thin. This will seem quite tedious and tricky the first time you do it, but after that you get the knack and it goes quickly. Chop an onion and a bell pepper fairly small. Take a regular sized frying pan (a no-stick one helps a lot) and put some oil in it (olive is best, but canola will serve just as well), more than enough to just coat the bottom but not enough for deep frying. Heat it over medium heat and put in the chopped onion and peppers and stir them around for a couple of minutes, then put in the thin potato slices: put in a layer, then mix them up with the onions and peppers, then put in another, and so on. Let the whole thing cook for about 20 minutes, until the potato slices are soft, stirring it all up every couple of minutes and if the middle of the bottom of the pan gets dry, putting in some more oil. Then put in the eggs, which you have already beaten with a smidge of pepper in a bowl. I start with six eggs and then add more one by one if I need them. The eggs should juuuust come up to the top of the potatoes. Keep cooking over medium heat until the eggs are cooked through on the bottom and just a little runny on top. Then turn off the heat, put a big plate on top of the pan, and turn it over. If you remembered to keep the bottom oiled the whole mess will come right out onto the plate. Slide it back into the pan, runny side down, turn the heat back on and cook it for a couple of minutes. Then put it back on the plate, which you have cleaned off in the mean time. Put it on a cake stand, cut it into wedges, and set it on the bar at the food stand at the train station, and … sorry, never mind the last sentence.

  2. so it’s kind of a really oversized omelet with extra potatoes, then? i’ll have to try that sometime. surprise the heck out of my partner by trying to cook… probably induce a stroke if i succeed at cooking something edible…

  3. Well, I think of it more as a bunch of potatoes held together by eggs, and I think most people in Spain would agree. But the nomenclature suggests that it really is an omelet, since in Castilian tortilla = omelet.

  4. hmm…

    No dairy, no wheat. One of the few recipes out there that The Boyfriend™ can eat with his food allergies. I might have to try it.

  5. So does this mean our wedding is off?
    I can cook you know.
    I’ve got mad skills in the kitchen.

    I’ll see NM’s tortilla española and raise her seafood gumbo.
    No one can resist the seafood gumbo.

  6. But can you resist the scalloped potatoes?
    The aforementioned pasta Gorgonzola?
    The black bean black stout chili?

    Can you you resist the homemade cornbread with honey butter?

  7. Scalloped potatoes: meat free
    Pasta Gorgonzola: with or without chicken (if no chicken, a lot more mushrooms)
    Black bean black stout chili: no meat, although sometimes I use that vegie fake ground meat for texture–I have to watch out for this though because I know some folks have an allergy.
    (I’ve tried doing vegie gumbo, but it loses something in translation.)

    Yeah, pretty much no meat necessary for these dishes.
    And the chili is vegan.
    And I really want to try your tortilla española now.

  8. Then, Editor, I can’t resist. (I’m not vegetarian; I’m kosher.)

    Rachel, I will bring it next time there’s a potluck.

  9. Oh dear, Editor, I was replying to comment 12 but I can’t have bacon in the taters. (My sister-in-law, who is AA, wouldn’t drink tonic at my house because I could only offer it to her without gin and not without vodka, which I didn’t have around. Sometimes I remind myself of her.)

  10. Then no bacon on the scalloped potatoes for NM. I have made them with corn beef kind of stirred around in them. It’s pretty nummy num num that way too.

  11. Ooo. That’s right.
    OK. There’s no cheese in the scallop taters, but there is milk. So I guess you would have the meat free version then.

    This thread is making me soooo hungry…

  12. Yeah, but I can’t be there, because I stupidly invited some visitors to come stay with us instead of at a hotel. Then after they accepted I remembered that this was the event where my husband was going to show up with me and all. I have too much going on in my life. I guess that beats the opposite.

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