They Were the Best of Duplexes; They Were the Worst of Duplexes

So, both sets of duplexes that Mrs. Wigglebottom and I have been watching take shape over the course of our morning walks appear to be done.

I can only judge from the outside. But judge I must. 509 & 511 Acklen Park are on the market for $699,000 a piece. Though they are cuter than the ones they put up last year, I must point out two things.

1. 509 Acklen Park has a silver vent stuck right on the front of it. If the link works, you can see it clearly in this picture. Yes, spend seven hundred thousand dollars to have a vent stuck right on the front of your house. I mean, if that doesn’t say “My architect is kind of a moron” I don’t know what does. But also, check out the brick. See how nice it is?

2. 511 Acklen Park has its beautiful brickwork covered by a thin layer of plaster, which, if you see how nice the brick looks, you’d immediately want to have sand-blasted off. Believe me, this picture actually makes it look better than it does in real life, and that picture makes it look like someone has done a crappy job of frosting the house in butter cream.

$699,000 to live in our neighborhood. Folks, I don’t even know what to tell you. When I first moved to my neighborhood, the big houses along Murphy Road were only commanding $250,000-$300,000. $699,000 to share a foundation with someone.

I couldn’t find a listing for the duplex on Theresa (402 Theresa, I believe), but from the outside, these are cute as hell. First, they fit the scale of the neighborhood a lot better (because, let’s face it, we all know the first part of the above-discussed condo development doesn’t appear to be full and the next phase hasn’t begun and shoot, even the “for rent” signs are staying up longer and longer, so if you buy your $700,000 duplex, it’s going to be years before the neighborhood is full of other $700,000 duplexes, if it ever is, and not working class tiny Monopoly houses). Second, they’re a style that tickles me–part Prairie/part Pagoda. They’re a kind of faded John Deere green with corn-gold highlights and dark reddish wood trim.

Just darling as hell.

The only misstep visible from the outside is that the roof has, visually, a lot of weight and the poles at the back corners of the house are a little thin in consideration of that. Otherwise, everything about it from the outside says “Don’t you want to imagine yourself living here?”

I’ll be interested to see what they hit the market at and how quickly they sell, because, frankly, that seems to me a more realistic vision for how our neighborhood is going to gentrify.

Edited to Add:  I give you 402 Theresa.  Yes, mid-200s which is insane, but less, far less insane than 700.  I’m just jealous that I will never own a home and certainly never be able to pay a quarter of a million dollars for one.  On the other hand, this is a lot of space for $250, considering that just the other side of I-440, they’re paying that for lofts.