Are Conservatives Just More Depraved than Liberals?

When I think of “sex,” I usually imagine me and another consenting adult or two.  I do have a little fantasy where Exador and Mack are in a bare knuckles fist fight which leads to hot man on man action which I watch while cuddling with the Church Secretary who whispers Walt Whitman in my ear which leads to massive smooches for me from all quarters, but I think 95% of us have that fantasy.

Conservatives, though, when they get to imagining decadence, they’re just… well…

If an unmarried couple choose to shack up, that’s OK. If two peeps with the same plumbing choose to shack up, that’s OK. If more than two people choose to form a non-traditional family unit, that’s OK. Ditto with the views of the NAMBLA people, those special types of animal lovers and a host of other aberrations.

Bless your heart, Blue, but aren’t I supposed to be the dirty hippy liberal?  You know how many times I thought about fucking little kids today?  Zero.  Never crosses my mind.  Not me doing it.  Not my neighbors doing it, not the people at the end of the street doing it.  I know, intellectually, that those NAMBLA folks are out there, but I don’t think “that’s OK.”  And the thing is, I’ve been a liberal for a long time and I’ve never met anyone who thought that that was okay.  Nor have I met anyone who approves of people fucking animals.

I know you know that most Liberals aren’t kiddie/pet fuckers.  I know your point is just that we’re depraived. 

But you’re the one with the dirty laundry list, not me.

(I so want to work in this little tid-bit about Strom Thurmond, but it doesn’t quite fit.  It’s a shame he’s dead.  He’d got the perfect campaign slogon, “Strom: He’ll fuck you over all day long and then he and his wife will fuck you all night long.”)

Warm Earth

Well, I was feeling a little down about the whole herb garden after seeing the beautiful rosemary at the Italian restaurant on Thursday because my herbs have never gotten much bigger than they were when I bought them.  And the basil had decided that it was more of a topiary than an herb.

So, I renewed my lease and decided to pull up the dead bushes in front of our place and put the herbs by the front door.  They’ll get a might less sun than they were getting on the other side of the door, but I have to believe they’ll be happier because, y’all, when I unpotted them, they were all rootbound!  Miles, it seemed like, of roots winding around and around the bottoms of the boxes and intertwining with each other into almost a giant brick of plant matter.  Seriously, each box held two herbs and I had to hack each brick of dirt in two to separate them.

Playing in the dirt was a blast, though.  I weeded and took all the potting soil I could find from in the house and just dug my fingers into the warm, moist earth until the potting soil was pretty well mixed in with the regular dirt and it was all black and rich and wet and smelled so good.

Then I dug some holes and loosened the roots and stuck them in and gave them a bunch of water, which will hopefully be enough.  Here is my question for you, knowledgeable readers.  Should I continue to water them the amount I was watering them in the boxes or should I water them more now that they have more dirt from which to draw nutrients or what?

I think they look happy.  The Professor thinks that’s hilarious.

The Bra of Death

It occurs to me that, if you said to men, “Here is some underwear that might someday malfunction in a way that makes you bleed,” that underwear would not be a raging success on the market.

And yet, I continue to wear underwire bras.

Petraeus/Betrayus

This morning, on all of the news shows, they are asking all of the Democrats on the news shows to denounce MoveOn.org for their Petraeus/Betrayus ad.

I am incensed that they have not asked the Democrats to denounce the folks who used to call me Betsy-Wetsy or my brother Bart the Fart (although, in all fairness, I might have been the biggest ‘Bart the Fart’-er).

If we can’t count on the Democrats to denounce all schoolyard taunts, how can we count on them to lead America?