Pitbulls in My Neighborhood and How I Predict They’ll Go Wrong

1.  Mrs. Wigglebottom.  After we find her and the car missing, we discover this list–

Peepl I Lik

Rowp-steeln man

Cudle on the cowch grl

Womn wth treets in panc

–shortly before the police arrive to ask us about the disappearance of Mack, the Professor, and the old woman down the street.

2.  The beautiful blue and white unfixed male whose owner, when he gets mad at the dog, slaps it with the end of his leash, while the dog just stands there now cowering or submitting in the least.  Well, come on.  That’s a disaster waiting to happen and we all know it.

3.  The staffie next door.  He already catches and fetches!  If that’s not a pit bull gone wrong, I don’t know what is.

4.  The white puppy next door.  After 180 consecutive days of listening to it whine, a concerned neighbor breaks in the house, frees the puppy from wherever it is, and locks the owners in.  I’m all for crating your dogs.  But if it’s continually whining, it needs something–the crate covered in such a way as to make it feel more secure, a ticking clock, something that smells like you.  I don’t know what, but something.  Poor guy.