When At Malia’s, Always Eat the Chocolate Cake

Malia had a bunch of folk over for a spa night last night and there was chocolate cake.  Oh, sweet chocolate cake. 

And there were these neck things, like giant, heavy u-shaped warm… well, I guess I don’t need “like” in there because I can’t come up with a metaphor.  That’s what they were. 

I felt a little dorky because my beauty regime consists of washing my face, putting on lotion, and slapping on eyeliner on days when I might see someone cute.

I played it cool, but I was intimidated as hell by all the spa treatments we got.  There were toners and lotions and dead sea salty things and margarita rubs and exfoliation do-hickies and lip masks and balms and eye puffy removers and such and I was just like, “Holy shit, I don’t know what any of this stuff is nor when nor where I should use it on me.”

It was cool, though.  I got to scrub and pat and soak and I did come out feeling refreshed and like I’d learned a little something, the most important lesson of which is, if you ever, ever have a chance to eat chocolate cake at Malia’s, you should take it.

Bring me one of those hot neck thingies, a face mask that is self-warming and smells like peppermint, and some chocolate cake and I don’t think there’s a problem in the world I could not ignore for at least the time it took me to eat the chocolate cake.

15 thoughts on “When At Malia’s, Always Eat the Chocolate Cake

  1. I’m always intimidated by these sort of things as well, although I think if anyone could be very comforting with it all, it would be Malia.

    As for my beauty regime, well usually it’s to see if my Crocs are clean and soap.
    Yeah, I’m not seeing any Cover Girl commercials in my future.

  2. I kind of like reading about beauty treatments. I thnk ultimately they can be about making women feel good, but they also reveal interesting little tics in the beauty culture. One of my favorites is the beauty treatment scene in Fatima Mernissi’s memoirs of her girlhood in Morocco (I think): it takes all day, and much hilarity is involved, and the uglier you can make yourself prior to the spa (face masks, henna’d hair, etc.) the better. Fatima’s father buys her mother some Western-style cosmetics, hoping to save her a little trouble (and avoid the ugly part of the beauty session), and she throws it out. I like that, it make the spa session more about her than about cultural expectations (even though those are certainly present).

  3. Yeah, I’m still mulling over that part of it, because I am not really a beauty treatment woman and I have, in the past, been the kind of woman who saw that stuff as solely about keeping women busy trying to keep up with all this stuff so that we don’t have time to conquer the world.

    But there is also an element about it that is very, very indulgent in a way that I, as a Protestant-raised woman felt was decadent. Being a decadent person in my old age, I really enjoyed that aspect, but it also made me thoughtful about whether I’ve been blind to how women use this to feel good about themselves and to take pleasure in their bodies.

  4. I wonder that too, B. For me, most beauty treatments aren’t much of an option, because my skin is too sensitive, so mostly I just take care of my somewhat high-maintenance skin and leave off the rest.

    But I think that attitude loses some of the pleasure aspect of it — it’s worth taking time to revel in the glide of lotion over the skin, instead of just getting it on as fast as possible so the skin doesn’t ache later.

  5. Dammit, now I’m stuck on images of reveling in skin treatments that consist of rubbing chocolate cake all over oneself.

  6. My one sadness about my house is that there isn’t a good tub for soaking. I have all these lovely bath bombs and scented things, but I have to sit with my knees up to my chin, which kind of spoil the effect.

    Remember, loving our bodies and being good to them — giving them little treats of sensation — is a good thing. It turns to bad only when we let it turn into “if you don’t have those treats, or use those products, you’re ugly; let your self-worth depend on how much you can pamper yourself.”

  7. Definitely the word I had in mind for last night was indulgent. Because for me, as a SAHM, it’s not really the lack of “beauty regime” that I crave, it’s interacting with other adults, especially adults that I so enjoy spending time with. My indulgence was not foot soaks and neck wraps and chocolate cake but a glass wine in the presence of fun, witty, talented women whom I am so proud to call my friends! The products we sample and the good food were just a bonus.

    I’m so glad you came and enjoyed yourself and ate my chocolate cake!

  8. I have a good soaking tub, but I don’t use it (sensitive skin again). I wish I could mail it to you.

    Maybe I will use it today — the air is extra dry today, so maybe I’ll take a bath with oil added. See Malia? — Your influence spreads like crazy. :)

  9. When I lived in the Bronx, my apartment had a big old clawfoot tub. It had been reglazed and painted and all sorts of things that made it not beautiful, and it took up about two-fifths of the space in the bathroom, but it was a joy to soak in. That’s where I developed my taste for bath bombs.

    And, Helen, there are shea butter soaks that might be really nice for your skin.

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  11. 1) I’m jealous, and I miss you guys.

    2) I love how thoughtful you are, B. I love how you are always so gracious and kind and thoughtful. This line especially struck me, “it also made me thoughtful about whether I’ve been blind to how women use this to feel good about themselves and to take pleasure in their bodies.” To me this is what being a thinking, feminist woman is all about. Anyway, I’m gushing, but I love this post and the comments very much.

  12. I don’t even wash my face, so I was a bit out of my element too, but I couldn’t resist the margarita foot scrub. I might never get around to using it, but I’m certainly not too lazy to smell it every once in a while.

  13. The neck thingies were awesome!

    I’m just glad I didn’t frighten anyone with my fluorescent white reptilian feet. ;)

    Oh yes and the chocolate cake. It is calling me even now.

  14. I have no beauty regime eyether. None. My makeup of choice is Maybelline base and whatever else I can afford. My moistureizer is Oil Of Olay.

    Thang is though, as I am getting older, of late, I have noticed a plethora of lines around the eyes. I don’t mind the lines. Ya know, character and all that, however, the brown spots and bags under the eyes are a little frightening. Botox. I would do that in a heartbeat if I had the money to get those frown lines out from between my eyebrows.

    Sounds like y’all had a great time. I was too tired/lazy to drive over.

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