I swear I’m having the kind of day where I’d really just like to sit in the back of a coffee shop with a friend and make bitchy, bitchy comments about all the people I hate until said friend has me laughing again. I want to punch people. I want to run over signs for cute things. I want to say to folks, “If you think you can do better than me, step up to the plate, otherwise, shut up.” I want dinner to be magically ready when I get home. I want the bills to be in a neat pile where I can find them and I want there to be enough money in my account to pay them. I want the dishes to have done themselves. I want there to be shit on tv I want to listen to while I work on my afghan. I want to remember right now what the fuck I thought I needed from the store so that I can acquire it right now rather than having to go back out in the rain when I get home and see that I’m out of… whatever the fuck. And I want to know how you’re supposed to know when it’s time to replant your jade plant.
And I want to skulk around all day frowning.
I’m going to take up smoking just so I can take smoke breaks on days like today.