What I’m Too Embarrassed to Show You In Real Life

I used to dream all the time that I was either drowning or suffocating.  It wasn’t unpleasant.  I’d just be under water or smothered with pillows and I would stop breathing and… nothing.  It would be warm and dark and nothing.

I would tell people all the time about my dreams and they would say that the dreams were symbolic, that I was feeling overwhelmed or stressed or whatever and this was my mind’s way of trying to make sense of that.

That never seemed right to me, because why would the drowning or suffocating feel okay, not be scary, if it had to do with something that seemed very wrong in my real life?

In retrospect, I probably was suffocating.

Here’s what it takes, I’ve come to learn, to get me safely through the night.


17 thoughts on “What I’m Too Embarrassed to Show You In Real Life

  1. My kids used to call me ‘the extraterrestrial’ when wearing the CPAP gear…now, I love the idea of getting covered up head-to-foot under a blanket in a cold room, cozy warm but breathing cool air.

    Don’t be embarrassed… embrace your extraterrestrial-ality!

  2. I fully expect to read a happy song/poem dedicated to your CPAP!

    The folks I know that use them say they’ve changed their lives. Everybody deserves a good night’s sleep.

  3. The part that cracks me up about that photo is that there I am all decked out for sleep and my hair is all “Oh, by the way, don’t you want to touch my fabulous curls?” when all day my hair had been just hanging limply off my head like a white guy with no democrat to vote for. They need like a LOLcurlz site for people with curly hair, because it really does have a mind of its own.

  4. Aunt B.,
    I always have that freshly f8cked hair at all times.
    It’s one thing I really dig about my body. Oodles of curls but yours are that chestnut sexy color that is just damned skippy.

  5. Well now see, with a bit of fussing with levels and color and whatnot, that picture right there? That could be art. I think that would make an awesome self-portrait arty thing.

  6. That’s the part I have no eye for–how to mess with levels and colors and what have you.

    But I could tint myself blue and do a passable Gonzo I think.

  7. Pingback: Nashville is Talking » Just breathe

  8. Send me a high-res copy of the pic and I will make it art (me and the Photoshop… we iz budz),

    And, oh, I have such baby-fine, thin, fliffy straight hair. I HEART curlz.

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