Circle and Square People Living in Harmony at the Holiday Inn

I went upstairs looking for the cat and found something that kept me occupied for a good hour.  I used to play with these things for hours on end when I was a kid.  We had a Holiday Inn, a McDonalds, a campground, a farm, a playground, and some Sesame Street stuff.  The only thing I didn’t have that I really wanted was the Fisher Price Castle.

Anyway, let’s look in on the folks still living in the Holiday Inn, shall we?  We have to travel through a scary forest first.

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Apparently, I’m so scared, I can’t hold the camera still.  And I think there used to be an eagle that went where the owl is because the owl lived in a tree (not pictured).  I also have vague memories of a baby bear.

Here we are at the Holiday Inn!  The blur is for artistic effect!

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Let’s pull up in our snazzy car and see what’s swinging!

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Here are the twins with their dad, who worked at McDonalds.  Whew, times were tough during the 70s–a grown man with twin girls having to work at McDonald’s.  Good thing his partner has some kind of office job.

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This is what I appreciate about the square people.  Even though they have to climb into the toilet in order to use it, they still can manage a smile.  I ask you, when was the last time you saw someone this happy to be taking a poop?  (P.S. You can tell he met our McDonald’s dude at McDonald’s because he has that weird shaped chin so that he can hold the tray.)

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Upstairs, the blonde women seem to be having some kind of family reunion.  You can tell that the circle blondes are hard for the square blondes to get along with because one of the square blondes is already in bed and another one seems to be trying to drown herself in the bathtub.  The one remaining square blonde is a little alarmed at how plastic surgery seems to have given all the circle blondes the exact same face.

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Mr. Hooper and the baby have just arrived to check in.  Sadly, there is no one behind the desk.

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I’m not saying that the playperson Holiday Inn has a race problem, but you’ll notice that the one non-white playperson seems to be in charge of both construction and room service.

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Well, that’s all from the playperson Holiday Inn.  I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip down memory lane as much as I have.

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More Family Weirdness

My dad’s cat will fight you.  No, like a fist fight.

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And my mom has an ungodly number of cows, most of which are antiques, so I’ll let it pass that she has them.  But she also has three cow figurines of cows dressed up like cowboys.  It almost hurts my head to look at them.  This one is dressed up like a cowboy for Halloween, but the other two are just ordinary cow cowboys.

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Tee Hee Mom

“Do you want me to throw cheese at you?”

“No.”

“You’re no fun.  My real mom would let me throw cheese at her.”

“And she did… Until you were about four.”

It Gets Weird Around Here

–My parents do a Bible devotion every morning.  The other day, the Bible verse had something about having a good heart and my mom started crying.

–I am shocked to see how bad her eyesight is, though they both claim that it’s getting better under the treatment.  Yesterday, she poured herself a bowl of cereal onto a plate of similar size.

–Yes, she drives forty minutes to work and back every day.

–Let’s not talk about it.  It will give me a stroke.

–It’s not just the drugs.  My dad continues on his “We must find you a man” kick.

–There seems to be general agreement that I am just too scary to men and could benefit, perhaps, from learning to be nicer to y’all.  I believe you could sense the insincerity.  But maybe I’m wrong.

–Have I told you lately how sweet and charming I find you and how, if not for you, I’d be a lonely woman surrounded by a lifetime full of jars I couldn’t open?

–And how deliciously handsome your penis is?

–…did that work?

Whenever I see girls with naturally curly hair, I feel a little something I don’t quite know how to put into words.  It makes me want to just nod and smile at her, because we both know… I don’t know… something.  Ha, it’s stupid.  We both know what it’s like to have curly hair.  Well, what can I tell you?  Other folks feel a kinship with those who share their love of the same sports teams.  I feel a kinship with those who have curly hair.