In Which I Make a Confession Sure to Upset Social Conservatives

I found a bunch of pictures from when I was in high school, my junior year, I think, so I was done trying to starve myself to death or otherwise try in some wimpy manner to commit suicide, and I was not yet being full-scaled stalked.  But I was moping around the world convinced that I was fat, ugly, and unloveable.

If I had known then how hot I was, I would have given up on that whole “virgin until I’m married” nonsense at 16.  Look at those legs!  Look at those lips!  What a waste of a perfectly fun body!  Damn you, Dad, for befriending all my guy friends and making them unwilling to corrupt me.


15 thoughts on “In Which I Make a Confession Sure to Upset Social Conservatives

  1. A. You look a lot like my best friend did at that age, curly floppy hair and all. She also was a mopey pretty person in her teens, and grew up to be a woman of size and a sexual powerhouse so… she’s not complaining, really. : )

    B. This also reminds me of that “What would you tell your 14-year-old-self?” thread over at Shapely Prose. Almost everyone told their younger selves that they were far more attractive than they thought they were, which I’m pretty sure is true…. deadly combinations of unrealistic expectation of beauty and unrealistic expectation of where affirmation of real beauty is supposed to come from. (“If I’m beautiful, why don’t I have a boyfriend?” I believe is an exact phrase from my diary then.)
    But it’s not so great when commenters are like “In ten years you’ll wish you have that body.” That body belongs to the age when you know least what to do with it; I don’t mind leaving mine way back there. (I think you don’t either; I’m just saying.)

  2. Squeezably soft, even then.

    Such a pretty! Even prettier now! How you stand yourself some days, woman? Hee hee.

    You were going for the Molly Ringwald thing then, weren’t you? I’m thinking “16 Candles.”

  3. All right, folks. Are you trying to give me a big head?

    Tanglethis, yeah, I have to say, everything that I wish were different about my body now, really, comes down to wishing my lungs worked, wishing my knee would stop acting like it had other plans. My wish, too, was that I didn’t spend so much time back then obsessing about how fat and ugly and unlovable I thought I was, when it clearly wasn’t true.

    Grandfille, you’re about to make me have to confess that I have enormous gaps in my pop culture knowledge. I’ve never seen 16 Candles.

  4. I’ll call your “I haven’t seen Sixteen Candles” and raise you “I haven’t seen Say Anything.” I can’t figure out why I didn’t see them at the time they came out.

  5. B, you haven’t seen “Sixteen Candles”? WTF?

    In regard to “say anything” I watched it recently and thought it sucked.
    Don’t bother.


  6. Bridgett, you haven’t seen Say Anything? I was already way too old to enjoy teen movies any more when it came out, and I still loved it. It does not suck (though it’s not all that great), and it has the archetypical John Cusack role, and a stunningly romantic gesture (which you probably have seen, in clips).

  7. Oh no no… “Sixteen Candles” and “Say Anything…” are two of my favorites of all time and still enjoy them to this day. Don’t miss.

    And yeah, I was thinking Molly Ringwald RE the pic as well, heh.

  8. why do so many women love “Sixteen Candles” when it’s a movie that basically makes date rape appear cool?

    Now “Say Anything” that’s a different story. I might be the kind of woman Chuck Klosterman is talking about re Lloyd Dobbler.

  9. My sister’s favorite movie is “16 Candles,” so I am very familiar with it. It’s such a ridiculous film — moving way past farce into parody — that we can’t get enough.

    That’s not to say that Molly Ringwald isn’t gorgeous and funny in it, too. She tries to play it straight while everyone else is just insane.

    Sort of like B, actually.

    And speaking of things you find out while looking something else up, the fellow who played the Boy of Her Dreams ™ now happily makes furniture for a living.

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