Why did I look? Because some small part of me wants to believe that having sex with a rock star who claims to have had sex with thousands of people would be something. I don’t know what that something would be, but I didn’t imagine it would involve something that starts out so very perfunctory and almost sad. I don’t know. I guess, in your heart, you know it can’t be much different that what the rest of us do, but I still held out hope that it would be… I don’t know… at least hot.

I watched the promo and couldn’t even be bothered to watch the whole thing.

Some folks are shaming Simmons for “cheating” on his family.

I’d like to shame Simmons for being so goddamned ordinary.

Gene Simmons, Rock Star, fucking away to “I Want To Know What Love Is” by Foreigner.

I shake my head.

Do I even have to tell you that this link is not safe for most circumstances?

Feb 20

Here’s My Question

I know the Southern Baptist Church doesn’t have the same level of hierarchy as other denominations, but when the Convention decided that women couldn’t be ministers, that was the end of it. Baptist churches can have women ministers, but then they don’t get to be Southern Baptist.

So, to say that you can’t have some edict from on high that all churches follow because that’s just not the way the Church works seems to me to be slightly disingenuous.

Let me tell you, this will happen. Maybe not a database, but the SBC is going to have to figure out some way to deal with this more effectively than just saying “La, la, la, we can’t hear you.” The first reason is because there are a ton of victims out there, who are hurting and who needed their God’s love to come through the Church and instead got told, in so many words, to just keep quiet. That kind of evil cannot stand. We saw that with the Catholic Church. This stuff comes out, eventually, and the people too cowardly to do anything about it get to go down in history as just that, cowards.

But the second reason is the reason that I imagine things will finally start to happen. Right now, because the Church has its head up its ass, there is no recourse for the innocent minister. If you’re accused of something, those rumors follow you around, because people don’t know for sure. If congregations can trust that, when an accusation is made, that the proper investigations are made and the truth discovered, then people who are falsely accused have protection and people who are properly accused meet justice.

There may be a third thing that begins to come into play as well. In most states, there are certain professionals–teachers, ministers, and the like–who are legally required to report abuse if they suspect it (as Ulrich points out in her original story). If the church can’t figure out a way to clean up its own messes, the law will have to step in to do it, which means that anybody who knows a pastor is sexually abusive and stays quiet will have legal as well as spiritual problems.

My favorite part about Ulrich’s post over at Pith is when the bigwigs are all “Our congregations are too stupid to use computers.” You’d think that’d be a deal breaker for most people–that once they learned their Church hierarchy thought they were idiots, they’d either find new churches or rework the hierarchy. But people are strange.

Edited to add: Actually, this post appears to have no question. I did have a question, but I can’t remember what it was.

Feb 20

Dad Gets All Feminist on Jeopardy’s Ass

My dad has to watch Jeopardy at 4:30 every day. You don’t get in the way of his Jeopardy watching and, if you don’t play along like you’ve got money on it, you best leave the room.

My dad is also not what you’d call an ardent feminist, but today’s Teen Jeopardy had him hopping mad.

First, in an awkward effort to segue to a discussion of the Marx Brothers, Alex announced that no women could watch the Three Stooges, that it was for men only. My dad rolled his eyes and grunted. I wondered if it was a pro-feminist grunt, but it could have just been him being perturbed at hearing the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges lumped together.

But then, one of the Double Jeopardy categories was “Cheerleaders” and he just lost it.

“What kind of category is that?! A smart young lady like her shouldn’t have to waste her time studying up on who was a cheerleader when. What a stupid idea. But you know, someone put that category in there just for her because they thought it was a girlie thing she would know and the two boys wouldn’t. But you notice she didn’t respond to any of the answers. I say good for her. It’s demeaning to women to assume that they can’t like the Three Stooges and that they give two shits about cheerleading. I mean, my god, they’re not even talking about the sporty kind of cheerleading. I’m about ready to turn the channel.”

Of course, he didn’t. It is Jeopardy, after all. But to even hear him threaten to turn the channel tickled me.

Feb 20

You Know, This Contest Was Supposed to Be Difficult for You, Not for Me

Okay, I see no way to declare a winner, since I’m still not sure whether it’s John Barrymore or Errol Flynn, myself.

I did, however, learn that someone kidnapped John Barrymore’s corpse and left it at Errol Flynn’s house, for reasons that I’m sure make sense to the folks involved, but kind of weirded me out.

I couldn’t find that exact picture anywhere on the internet.

I found this one of Barrymore, which looks somewhat similar, and this one of Flynn, which looks somewhat similar. The curve of Flynn’s eyebrow makes me think that it’s him.

So, here’s my proposed solution. Georgia wins this afghan, because, though I think she’s wrong, she did provide the most detailed reasoning of why she came up with Barrymore, and I can’t say for certain that it’s not (and my mom did have crushes on both of them in her younger days).

But, the Missus had what I believe is the right answer first, and so she should also win an afghan.

So, when I am done with the afghan that is now Georgia’s, I will sit down with the Missus, preferably over some fun vodka drink not made by Mack (since he makes them so strong they put hair on my chest) and we’ll plot out an afghan for her.

Fair enough?

Feb 20

Announcing the Tiny Cat Pants Afghan Contest!

I’ve been searching for a contest with just the right amount of ridiculousness and opportunity for cheating in order to give away the afghan I’m working on. I’m not very far along on it (it’s been vexing me), but I have enough now for you to get the general gist of where it’s going and what colors it will be.

Here’s what’s done so far:

And here’s an upclose of what’s going on with the stitches:

I have another of the multicolored stripes done and am working on another solid stripe. I’m out of most of my multicolored yarn (which was the point of the afghan, so hurray!), so I’m thinking it’s just going to be a three stripe afghan.

The contest is to identify the man from this picture of my mom:

Here he is just him:

Here’s the catch:

My mom and dad have it narrowed down to two people it could possibly be. My mom thinks it’s one person, my dad thinks it’s another. But even I don’t know for sure.

Here’s a hint:

If it’s the person my mom thinks it is, he’s famous enough that you’ve heard his name, I guarantee. If it’s the person my dad thinks it is, he’s been in a Bugs Bunny cartoon and played the person my mom thinks it is (I hope that doesn’t make it too easy).

Here’s the rules:

The first person to guess correctly wins–and you must be able to back up your claim (So, I guess you could guess wrong, but still win if your proof seems the most plausible). Don’t guess if you don’t want to win, because it’s not going to be an afghan to everyone’s tastes, and it will break my heart if you know the answer but are all like “Hell no, don’t send that thing to me!”. And you must be willing to send me your name and a UPS-able address. So, there’s that.

Okay, good luck.