I had the kind of conversation this afternoon that leaves you feeling like you’ve been crying all day after its over. I think it’s just the kind of day it is, where you read about little kids getting stabbed in the head or having their fingers cut off or getting shot at their colleges or almost killed by their dads because their dads are out of cigarettes and I guess have nothing better to do. Yep, we live in a world with people in it who actually think “Well, fuck, I’m out of cigarettes and the kid’s crying; I guess I’ll just beat him almost to death.”
It’s the kind of day where you do wonder just what the fuck the point is, because, really, what can be done in the face of that kind of shit?
So, when a man you love tells you that all men are monsters and you say that you just can’t believe that and he’s just like, well, then, that’s the end of that; you’re just wrong.
And what if you are wrong?
What if men are just monsters, all men, secretly monsters and all women, in our own way, just as bad?
Then, I ask you, what’s the point? Why even bother with people if they’re just dangerous and evil and there’s no redemption possible? Why try to save or help anyone, if in saving or helping them, you’re just unleashing them on other unsuspecting folks?
I can’t live that way–knowing that everyone around me is monstrous and that there’s only a fear of the repercussions that keeps the people closest to me from hurting me. If that’s the case, why even bother?
I cannot believe it. And maybe it makes me the biggest dumbass on the face of the planet, a giant naive fool, but I do believe that there are genuinely good folks in the world and that people can care about each other and be around each other out of genuine affection, not because they’re just waiting for an opportunity to pounce. And I believe in everyday redemption, not some kind of supernatural miracle that comes from some mysterious place outside of us, but in the everyday choice to this day try.
Maybe that’s stupid, but I don’t know how you even leave your house otherwise.