Another Open Letter to SuperMousey

Dear SuperMousey,

It’s my understanding that you’ve never seen The Princess Bride.  I don’t know why your dad would deprive you of this important milestone in a young girl’s development, but I advise you to check HBO Family in the coming days and watch it.

The Dread Pirate Roberts is exactly the kind of guy every girl should have a crush on, at least briefly.

And you will love running around the house yelling, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Love,

Aunt B.

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My Trip to the Eye Doctor

As a part of my new effort to not just sit around and wait to fall apart, I made my way to the eye doctor today.  I have thin retinas.  And I’m getting glasses to wear when I don’t have my contacts in.

I kind of love my eye doctor.  She’s the kind of eye doctor that you can ask “How in the world did my relatives make it off the savannah?” or “And what did we do during the middle ages?”

And she laughes and says, “You can’t even see my face when I’m right here, can you?”

“No.”

“Well, your family must have had other talents that encouraged folks to keep you around.”

1870 Tennessee Constitution Actual Disqualifications for Holding Office

ARTICLE IX.

Disqualifications.

Section 1. Whereas Ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no Minister of the Gospel, or priest of any denomination whatever, shall be eligible to a seat in either House of the Legislature.

Section 2. No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this State.

Section 3. Any person who shall, after the adoption of this Constitution, fight a duel, or knowingly be the bearer of a challenge to fight a duel, or send or accept a challenge for that purpose, or be an aider or abettor in fighting a duel, shall be deprived of the right to hold any office of honor or profit in this State, and shall be punished otherwise, in such manner as the Legislature may prescribe.

(source)

If Only We Had Some Kind of Institution that Allowed Us to Force Non-White People to Work for Us for Free…

In pre-Civil War Tennessee, it was pretty straightforward, in exchange for minimal room, food, no legal claim on personhood, and the right to be whipped and have your family torn from you and moved far away from you where you’d never hear from them again, you got to work your whole life so that others could make money. We called that slavery.

One hundred and fifty years later, it’s a little more complicated. But we’re still trying to figure out how to force non-white people to work for us for free. The work-around the Democrats are proposing is that we’d pay the “illegal” people among us, but then take the money back and put it in the state coffers instead!

I guess this is an improvement because now the people with no legal status as persons won’t technically belong to individuals but to the State in general.

The state constitution reads, “That slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for crime, whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, are forever prohibited in this State.” So I can’t help but wonder how the legislature plans on getting around that.  But I guess we’ll get to see.