The Man from GM Fails to Take Me to Sweden

The Man from GM just got back from Sweden.  He took these photos with his actual own camera.


And this:


I feel like I should talk some smack about the Man from GM, but I want him to take me with him next time.  After all, I’ve been a good friend to him, over the years, kind of, if you overlook a bunch of stuff that I did and play up a bunch of stuff that he did and Sweden is the land of my ancestors, at least, the ones who weren’t German.

9 thoughts on “The Man from GM Fails to Take Me to Sweden

  1. I so very, very much want to go to an ice hotel. I’m wondering now if I should regret ignoring his advances on the big green couch that night. Maybe I could have been in Sweden this year.

  2. He’s going back this summer and I think we all (who know him) know that a little thing like getting in a knock-down drag out fight with him about his boorish behavior isn’t going to keep him from turning down an opportunity to get in your pants.

    Ha, I tease. But it’s true.

  3. but they don’t have ice hotels in the summer.

    as a feminist, I think that if I’m only having sex because he’s paying for the trip to the ice bed covered in animal pelts then it basically counts as prostitution, right? and, if I know that going in, then I worry the sex would be bad.

  4. I think that if I’m only having sex because he’s paying for the trip to the ice bed covered in animal pelts then it basically counts as prostitution, right?

    Depends… If you wait to have the sex until you’re in the ice bed covered in animal pelts, then you could probably make the argument that you were just trying to stay warm.

  5. Just to defend myself… During the night in question, on the green couch..

    I believe that I was specifically instructed by Aunt B. to shamelessly flirt with the Professor.. I don’t think Aunt B. approved of the guy she was chasing at the time. (note: what was this guy like, if I was a step up?)

    Anyway.. that’s my story and I am sticking to it.. (And I called Aunt B to confirm this afternoon!)

  6. OH MY GOD! Is that how you want to play this?

    For starters, for the record, you didn’t call me this afternoon to confirm shit. You called me to gush over your beloved new Corvette. “Oh, B,” you swooned, “I might get to drive the new Corvette around. Oh, B, it’s so dreamy and fast and did I mention fast? Like a race car, but a race car you want to run your tongue across…”

    And I never ever specifically instructed you to shamelessly flirt with the Professor. I believe the actual conversation went more like “Oh my god, why were you rubbing your feet on the Professor’s butt?” “I was shamelessly flirting with her. I thought if she had fifteen minutes, she might want to fuck.” “WHAT?! On what planet does rubbing your feet on the ass of a woman you just met result in that woman wanting to fuck you?” “What? It might work.” “No, no, it’s not going to work, ever.” “It’s worked for me before.” “On who?! I want to meet the woman compelled to fuck a dude by the presense of that stranger’s feet on her ass.” “You wouldn’t know her.” “Well, here, if you’re going to come onto my friends, do not do it by rubbing your feet on their asses.” “So, it’s okay if I flirt shamelessly with her in other ways?” “I need a drink.”

  7. Given that B didn’t approve of various men, there might be some truth to your claim, Man from GM. Sorry, B. However, how would one night with you, granting the yet unproved assertion that you are a few steps up others, end all relations with said lesser men? Didn’t you leave the next day to your home many, many miles away? And, that was clearly not “shameless” flirting for sure.

    I’m just saying that if I could have know about the future potential to go to an ice hotel, I might have been more responsive to your feeble attempts on the green couch. And yet I feel bad for knowing and admiting this here and now because it makes me one who might use men for less than noble pruposes.

  8. Hey, now, I might not have approved of how various men were being stupid towards you, but I certainly never encouraged the Man from GM to rub his feet on your ass.

    But, for the record, I think a trip to the ice hotel is in fact a noble purpose for which to use a man.


  9. I certainly think you should come to Sweden. It’s a beautiful country, especially in the spring and summer. And to make up for the ice hotel’s being melted in the summer, you could go bathing right in the middle of Stockholm. The water here is so clean that there are fishermen standing on bridges right in the middle of our capital city, and there are several beaches as well.

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