13 thoughts on “Open Letter to Christian”

  1. Dearest Aunt B.,

    In putting together the new WKRN.com in the dungeon war room, we sent three robots with VCR mouths into the vault to assess the 1000s of videos we have stretching back to when TV was black and white and newsmen battled over who had the most awesome moustache. Two archive robots brought back their top ten (10) videos they felt should make the cut and were rewarded with two free passes to the Lane Motor Musuem on Murfreesboro Rd.

    When I went looking for the third robot, I found it in a corner bumping into the rack and repeating something in an inaudible loop. I didn’t quite understand what it was, but did find tape spilling out of its VCR mouth, some of which was getting damaged under the two front drive wheels on which it precariously pulls itself around across the screwed up patchwork of old and new replacement tile.

    After several hours that would have otherwise been dedicated to putting together the 6 of the clock news, one of our editors carefully and manually rewound the tape, reset the robot and inserted it back into its VCR mouth. What we saw was something that needs to be seen to be believed, perhaps a sign of emotional intelligence in robot #3. It was the video of Kleinheider and his stunt “cell phone.”

    What to do with this video clip, I’m at a loss. What to do with robot #3, well. Stay tuned.

  6. Darryl, it’s a clip of Kleinheider talking about local blogs, as I remember. The “cellphone” bit is a joke wherein it appeared to the female viewers that one could see the outline of a handsome…uhhhhh….package in his khakis that Kleinheider insisted was merely his cell phone. The on-line community has teased him about his mighty fine “cellphone” for about 18 months.

  7. Darryl, click on the link Christian provided and then look at Kleinheider’s pants. Then you too can join in the ongoing debate about whether Kleinheider’s got the world’s most unfortunate cell phone or whether the gods smiled on him.

  8. I clicked expecting to study the pants for a few seconds before getting the joke. Turns out I was laughing hysterically immediately.

    Speak softly and carry a big stick indeed.

  9. I’m not a man, obviously, but if I were, I would not be trying to pass that off as a cell phone. Shoot, I’d be challenging Dolphin to a duel.

  11. Christian, you are so awesome! I dunno what’s funnier, you or the clip.

    How come I never heard of this cell phone legend, y’all? I must have had my head up my butt that day.

    But really, heck with the cell phone. ACK is damned funny. Who woulda thought?!

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