Sheep People and Goat People

So, the other day a large apparently hand-typed poster was found in a local barn and presented to me for my amusement.  I didn’t keep the poster, because I know too many people who need copies of it before I can take the original in good conscience, but the poster is awesome.

And it’s awesome in that way that is more fear awe than delight awe.  It’s actually a giant, elaborate chart explaining which kinds of people automatically go to Hell (the Russians, the Siberians, Moscow, the Sumarians, and some kinds of Jewish people) and that only Judahites (the true Jews, who are the white Christians peoples of Northern European descent, of whom, apparently Adam was one, surprisingly, and some other kinds of Jews) have any chance of going to Heaven (though, apparently, people from England and people from the State of Georgia are shoe-ins, so congrats to my English and Georgian readers).

The author of the chart, though, seems to think it’s up for debate whether the Irish are sheep people or goat people.

I wish I could reproduce the whole thing for you, because it’s such a perfect example of the lengths that people will go to to justify their own prejudices with the Bible.  See, the Jews aren’t the real Jews.  Real Jews are the Judahites and the Judahites are the Northern Tribes of Israel and north really means “Northern Europe” and mentions of animals in the Bible were actually talking about people and so on and so on–these gymnastics of thought to make it okay to be racist fucks in direct opposition to what Jesus would have wanted.

I don’t know.  I lost my train of thought.

It just seems to me that, first, this shows a lot of anxiety on the part of a strain of Christianity that those Christians really don’t feel certain that they “belong” to God and so they have to rewrite history to remove real Jewish people from the role of “The Jews” and put themselves and their ancestors in that role.  That’s really ugly.

But what scares me is that it’s a kind of thoughtfulness.  It takes thought and a kind of reasoned contemplation to come up with this kind of stuff and I think so often I think that “Oh, if only folks knew better, if only they were more sophisticated thinkers, this stuff would be as obviously ridiculous to them as it is to me,” but seeing something like this?  Well, you know it’s not true.

And I don’t really know what to do in the face of that.

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8 thoughts on “Sheep People and Goat People

  1. If I’m reading the thing right, it appears that your only hope of salvation is to marry well. Otherwise, yes, I’m afraid you’re in some kind of Protestant version of purgatory.

  2. It takes thought and a kind of reasoned contemplation to come up with this kind of stuff and I think so often I think that “Oh, if only folks knew better, if only they were more sophisticated thinkers, this stuff would be as obviously ridiculous to them as it is to me,” but seeing something like this? Well, you know it’s not true.

    quantity of thought is no substitute for quality of thought, nor for a solid foundation in empirical evidence. see also conspiracy theorists everywhere for further examples of this.

    (note that i’m being a good, polite atheist and not pointing out the entirety of theology as another example. or objectivism, or the more dogmatic strains of libertarianism, or supply-side economics, or…)

  3. Well, the anxiety you mention is hardly new, any more than efforts of greater or lesser sophistication to claim that one or another group of Christians (or others) are the true Jews.

    But for the rest of it, what Nomen said. No one who equates Russians, Sumerians, and Moscow as categories is engaging in high-quality thought. Crazy people often have a lot of time on their hands to elaborate on flimsy schemata. If you’re interested, I can point you to websites that have worked out some pretty florid pseudo-physics to ‘prove’ a heliocentric universe, for just one example.

  4. Someday the poster’s author and all other non-believers will learn the harsh truth at the end of His Noodly Appendage. The meatball will fall.

    I agree heartily with Nomen’s point: laboring diligently to think up this kind of thing doesn’t show anything more than ignorance and work ethic.

  5. Oh, are these British Israelites? the lengths some people will go to to make themselves God’s Chosen Mary Sues. i dunno. yeah, we’re “Khazars,” apparently.

    “it’s all falling into place. of course, that place is nowhere near this place.”

    I could ask my best friend, he’s Irish. I strongly suspect he’d say “goat” since one of his most beloved stories is when a neighbor’s goat headbutted one of his very dignified aunts in the ass and knocked her over in a very undignified way.

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