Dear Gun Nuts,
As you know, I read you faithfully, even though I disagree with just about everything you say (except when Say Uncle says kind things about me; I think we both know I agree with saying nice things about me) and I have come to learn some important things.
One, treat every gun as if it is loaded.
Two, don’t point at anything you don’t want to shoot.
Three, keep your finger off the trigger unless you are fixing to shoot something in the next second.
Four, the stuff that comes out of a barrel of a gun can kill you by driving pieces of metal into you. It does this by being propelled by an explosion cause by gunpowder.
Five, things can still be dangerous, years after being made, hence the trouble with leaving, say, landmines around.
I have come to accept these five things as Truth. (Ha, and it looks as if y’all have trained me well in your rules, even though I didn’t know they were actual rules.)
So, I find it hard to make sense of the story of poor Sam White. Why would he have been trying to “restore” something he surely should have called the bomb squad in to deal with?