She has snacks! She piles you and your loved ones in her car and gives you snacks! America, if there’s anything more pleasant than driving around town, munching on snacks, and looking at houses, I can’t think of what it is.
And I can’t think of what it is because I’m a little fried after a day of driving around town, munching on snacks, and looking at houses.
We must have looked at nearly twenty houses and by the end, we were just aimlessly circling blocks because those blocks contained young, shirtless, sports-playing men playing sports without their shirts on. We were having profound philosophical discussions about how, if you had to live in a neighborhood with a clear gang problem in a house right next door to an active crack house (I should point out that this is my typification of the neighborhood, not Kathy’s), would you want to live in the neighborhood with the glistening, muscular, shirtless young men playing basketball or the glistening, muscular, shirtless young men playing soccer?
I, myself, lean towards the soccer players, because they have such nice butts. Still, to each their own.
The Butcher brought a camera to take pictures of the houses. I now have a camera full of pictures of the Nashville skyline and snails.
Anyway, it was a good day, but it was kind of a bust. We saw some houses that had been rehabbed, but had floors so soft and rolling I was a little afraid we might fall through from just the weight of the three of us. We saw some homes in neighborhoods so sketchy I didn’t want to get out of the car. We saw rehabbed homes that looked like they’d been rehabilitated by guys on acid, with cabinets that didn’t line up and counter tops that seemed to have come from other houses and ceilings in one room lower than ceilings in another. And I can’t even begin to tell you how many “two bedroom” homes are counting on you not minding that one of the bedrooms has two doors because it’s basically also functioning as a hallway or how many “three bedroom” places are counting the room they’ve converted from the garage with a door to the outside as a bedroom. Is there high demand for having a door to the outside in your bedroom?
And, oh, the tiny kitchens. The teeny tiny kitchens, without dishwashers. And the rooms added on by just enclosing porches or garages or whatever.
We saw a lot of houses that, if put in the hands of a good rehabber, could be amazing places to live, but, of course, we don’t have those skills or the money to pay someone else to do it.
I think we’re going to have to broaden our search.