Going Home, Dragging My Bag Behind Me

Now, now I’m sad.  And I’m so tired.  I slept like hell.  My parents are on their way here.  I need to call and see if we’re meeting at the hotel or at our house.  And I’m in the “they all suck” stage when I look at stuff on Realtracs.

Waaah.  They all suck.

Oh well.  What can you do? I, myself, will finally hit publish on this thing and go home.

I wonder if we shouldn’t just build a house made out of sod.

Or out of the surviving members of 70s hard rock bands…

That would be finally putting Neil Peart to good use…

See, This is Why I’m Glad to Say I’m a Liberal

Because, in this state, some of the Democrats are cringe-inducingly stupid and I’d rather have “B–Liberal” in people’s minds than “B–Democrat”. Because the stupid? Ugh. Like, say, Beecher Fraiser and Fred Hobbs* who think that Barack Obama might be a terrorist or at least a terrorist sympathizer.

“Maybe [it’s] the same reason I don’t want to — I don’t exactly approve of a lot of the things he stands for and I’m not sure we know enough about him,” Hobbs said when asked why he thought Davis wasn’t endorsing Obama. “He’s got some bad connections, and he may be terrorist connected for all I can tell. It sounds kind of like he may be.”

And, according to the TNDems, who’s fault is this?

THE REPUBLICANS!

How? How in the world is this the part of the Republicans? The Republicans in our state think someone would go to the trouble of faking Barack Obama’s birth certificate. They have the stupidist ideas for conspiracy theories ever! How are they concocting mind control devices that then allow them to turn Fred Hobbs into Bill Ho…

Oh my god.

Do you think that the TNDems just heard “Hobbs” and started shooting of their mouths about how much Hobbs sucks thinking this controversy was about the Republican Hobbs?

How mortifying!

*Does having that name turn you into an evil idiot? Because that’s the orange cat’s name and he does indeed sometimes spitefully pee on things, but often things he later wants to sleep on, but can’t because they smell like pee.

Edited to Add: Ah, but the other Hobbs does have a hand in this. Silly me, for thinking he’d have sense enough to mind his own business.

Well, Onward and Upward, or in This Case, Downward

In honor of not getting the house, I will tell you the story of the Sigma Chi rock, and then the SuperGenius will come along and tell you the truth.

No, I think I remember it right.

But see, here’s the deal.  We hated the Sigma Chi guys–with some exceptions, but in general–because on our campus, they were just like giant roaming cocks, in every sense of the word.  They just were giant smug assholes.  And, at a time when everyone else on campus was living in kind of small crappy rooms (even the other Greek houses weren’t that great), they built themselves this giant fortress on prime real estate as if to further announce that none of the rest of us were ever getting into that house unless they were going to carry us back there to gang rape us.

And they put a rock out front, like a tiny boulder, with “ΣΧ” carved in it, as if to announce to the world their everlasting presense.

Well, the SuperGenius and I were in town that summer.  She was house-sitting for one of our professors and I was living with the soccer team and the Libertarian in a crappy house behind a bar.  And we would, as Midwesterners do, get drunk and wander the streets of the city–the SuperGenius and I.  The Libertarian spent his days smoking pot and playing Civilization II.

And we made it our mission to defile that rock.  We would walk by and kick it, throw things at it, roll our eyes at it.  Whatever.  We even stuck a stick of margerine on it hoping that it would melt and ants would come and infest the rock.  Which ended up not happening, but instead, led to an unfortunate rock-discoloration.

And, one night, while the SuperGenius watched to make sure no cars were coming, I walked right over to that rock, dropped trou, squatted, and… Well, I was young.  And immature.

But every once in a while, when I’m back visiting the College Professor, I’ll drive by that rock and snicker to myself.

I hope they don’t make pledges lick that rock or anything…

Okay, yes, I kind of do.