Speaking of the Scene

Join me in my quest to get Roger Abramson thrown off the blogroll at Pith so that I can be at the top.

My reasons so far for making the switch:

1. Ladies first.

2.  I post regularly, if not regularly about Nashville.

3.  Women on top was good enough for Lillith, it should be good enough for The Scene

4.  Roger Abramson is on friendly terms with the likes of me.  Do we really want someone who knows and is friendly with potty mouthed feminists who can’t hold their liquor representing the top spot on Pith’s blogroll?

5.  Roger Abramson has children.  As a childless spinster, I’m able to devote more time to being on the top of Pith’s blogroll.

6.  It’s been quite a while since I criticized The Scene.  Can we say the same for Roger Abramson?

7.  Roger Abramson’s last name is “Abramson.”  As in Son of Abraham.  As in Isaac and Ishmael.  Ishmael, the famed ancestor of Mohommad, making–using BillHobbsian logic–Roger Abramson a terrorist.  I, on the other hand, and named after patriotic flag-makers and saints.  Christian saints.  Does the Scene love America or not?

8.  Roger Abramson can’t get along with Terry Frank.  No, don’t try to turn this back around on me.  We’re talking about Roger Abramson here.

9.  Roger Abramson blogs under his real name.  Doesn’t he get how blogging works?  What?  He’s trying to be all credible or something?

10.  I can hook the folks at the Scene up with a great deal on tamales.


Some Days You’re Bocephus, Other Days You’re the Bear

My day kicked my ass.  Left, right, up, down.  Just done.

I have a hard time sometimes differentiating between when people are just fretting and questioning what they want to feel certain about and when they’re suggesting that I don’t know how to do my job.  And I spent most of my day trying to explain a bunch of different things to a bunch of different folks and coordinating eighty million things and feeling like I’ve been given a couple of tasks no one trusts me to actually do and having to explain that just because someone uses “complex” in a sentence doesn’t mean they’re trustworthy.

I mean, seriously, folks.  I was almost forced to do business with a company that has a system for making Universal PDFs ™ until I explained that I also have a system for making universal PDFs.  It’s called opening my damn Adobe Acrobat and pushing the motherfucking save button.

I’m going to start trademarking activities–like B’s Universal System for Opening Gas Caps ™ and my Universal System for Faking a Supportive Smile when You’re Sure Your Eyes are Screaming “This is Insanity!” ™ and then I’m going to charge people $30 a pop to do what they could do for free.  It’s going to be great fun.  If you’re interested, please use my Universal System for Typing Things into Comment Sections on Blogs ™ to let me know and then pay me $30 for utilizing my patented universal system.

So, then I had a meeting downtown, which was interrupted repeatedly by the ringing of my cell phone, which I could not get to just be silent, so I was mortified and I never did get to drink my pop, which was sad.

But I did go to the Hank, Hank, Hank, and Family exhibit down to the Hall of Fame, which is amazing.  But there is a giant dead bear towards the part where they feature Hank Jr’s kids and I’m no animal rights activist or anything, but something about that bear just made me want to cry.

What a fucking waste.  You’re Hank Williams Jr.  You have money and women and whatever you want out the butt.  You can do whatever you want.  Lead whatever kind of life you want.  And all you can think to do is shoot a bear?  A bear who’s never done anything to you?  A bear whose meat you don’t need to feed your family?

I don’t know.  I’m reading into it, I know.  But it just felt like such a stunning failure of imagination that I couldn’t go on.

So, I tried to go back to the office, but I just couldn’t.

So I came home instead and wrote this post and now here we are.  You and me.  You sitting there reading this.  Me, just having finished typing it.

I don’t know what you’re thinking about.  I’m kind of dwelling on how there’s a real strain of “Well, I’ll Show You” running through every branch of the Williams family and wondering what that does to folks.

Feeling like I can guess what it does to folks.


Tamales–Good Enough for Robert Johnson, Good Enough for You

I waited all morning for Mack to call me, just so that I could go “Hello, Deer.” I don’t know that he found it as funny as I did, but boy did I!

But, he called to deliver me news so wonderful that I had to share it with you. Our tamale connect is back in town. And looking for people who love tamales. I would be one of those people. But, what do I know? You may be one of those people, too.

And, if you are, Mack is offering to hook you up–a dozen for $15 or two dozen for $25. That’s just $100 for eight dozen tamales! And what could you do with eight dozen tamales? Well, that’s between you and your god. I won’t speculate.

But, if you’d like some, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with Mack. Or, heck, you can just get in touch with him yourself.

And, no, I don’t believe the tamales will be made with fresh venison.

Probably just plain old pork.


The Windswept Tree

Dianne Sylvan is starting a weekly Wednesday meditation on the runes.  She’s Wiccan, not heathen, with all the caveats implied in making that distinction, but I’m rubbing her latest post between my fingers to see if I like how it feels.  I’m really finding her focus on the Tree important.  That’s not something I’ve considered deeply enough.


The Next House

Okay, I told Kathy I’d go home and mull this over and yet I’m having trouble, so I’m going to work it out here.

Things I Love About The House

(In no particular order)

The yard is amazing and yet not so large that I feel like I couldn’t handle it.

The front porch is solid.

The paint job, though a color that makes me cringe, is really, really well done.

It has hardwood floors everywhere.

It has a huge built-in china cabinet.

The laundry room is enormous and we could easily just leave our clothes piled up in there and shut the door and ignore it.

It has a huge garage and a little storage barn.

And a porch swing.

And a patio.

And an enclosed back porch.

And no immediately obvious settling issues.

And a fenced in back yard.

And a wonderful place for a garden.

They will leave the rocker on the front porch.

And the price is great.  I’d be paying less in a house payment than I am in rent.

Things I’m Not Thrilled About

The color of the house.  I think the problem is just the lime green trim.  But it needs outside painting, which I’ve never done before.

The kitchen is not great.  We’d need a fridge and a dishwasher and we’d have to think about taking down the wall between the kitchen and the dining room and either moving the wall about a foot into the dining room so that we could install a dishwasher and some extra cabinets OR just taking out the wall all together and reworking that whole space into a giant eat-in kitchen.

There’s only one bathroom.  Though the laundry room is huge enough it’d be nothing to carve a powder room out of that space.

It’s north of Briley (though, south of Old Hickory).  I didn’t want to be that far north, but sweet Jesus, we’ve looked at pushing 50 houses.  We have a good idea of what there is closer in in our price range and it’s not pretty (or, if it’s pretty, the neighborhood’s not.  Yesterday, we looked at a house next door to a house covered in gang signs and, when we looked closely at the house we were looking at, there was evidence that that house had also been tagged, but just covered up).  Or it’s in Antioch.  And, no offense to any of you living in Antioch, but moving to Antioch would, to me, feel like admitting defeat.  And it’d mean coming in I-24 to work, which, again, just shoot me now.

The air conditioner is old.  It’s probably on its last legs.

The bricks that form a decorative ledge under the windows rub right off on your hands if you touch them.  It’s kind of weird and gross.

Things I’d like to know and need to look into today

What are their utility bills like?

What kinds of pipes are under the house?  When, if ever, was their plumbing updated?

How old is that roof?

Things that go in the woo-woo catagory

They buried St. Joseph in their yard.  That pleases me.

Sitting on the porch, I heard crows.

My Thoughts

I’m not thrilled by the kitchen, but it is definitely something I could live with.  I’m a little bummed about not having a fireplace, but whatever.  I just don’t want to make an offer without knowing about the plumbing, because, to my way of thinking, everything else, even if it isn’t ideal, I can work with or work around.

Am I just jumping at this house because I’m anxious to get in a house, bummed about what happened to the last one, and in complete depression over the state of the housing stock in my price range and happy that this seems like the best option I have?

In other words, is this just a rebound house?  Like a rebound relationship that tends to be fraught with problems you will yourself not to see just to make up for the heartbreak of losing the last one?

But, on the other hand, isn’t wanting a house, knowing that most of the houses in my price range are for shit, and finding one that seems like the best option actually exactly the process of buying a house?  Isn’t this how it should go?