My friends, yes, sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between metal and hard rock, especially if you’re not very familiar with either genre.
But I bring you the guideline that will help you make the call, and I guarantee that this guideline will serve you well 95% of the time.
Say one of the more conservative Christian churches in your town decides to throw a record burning or a CD smashing…
You know, I wonder, what do folks do now? An MP3 erasing just can’t be that exciting or dramatic. There’s no fire, no sledgehammers. Hmm.
Say a Preacher is throwing a record burning or CD smashing. If, when he holds up an album by that group, you and your friends would have laughed and laughed and laughed that anyone could have thought that music was Satanic, it’s probably hard rock. If you would have shrugged and said “Well, yeah, maybe I can see that. Okay, but it’s still stupid to destroy the record.” you probably have some heavy metal.
Try it out.
You’ll see it’s true.
No, no need to heap praise upon me for my genius. Being right is all the thanks I need.
Edited to Add: Oh, holy Sweet Jesus! I just looked at Yahoo dude’s list more closely and he seems to think… No, let me quote him.
20) Thin Lizzy: You’ll see that I’m partial to bands who can write songs. Play as many notes as you like. Scream your lungs out. Tell me the world isn’t fair. Hail Satan, if you must. Tell me more about how you’re going to “rock me.” Or tell me all about the people in a faraway galaxy who will one day communicate through the electric guitar. But I’ll still take someone who can write: “Jailbreak,” “Cold Sweat,” “Whiskey In The Jar” and “The Boys Are Back In Town.” [emphasis mine]
Isn’t this the same Whiskey in the Jar that Metallica covered? The same Whiskey in the Jar-o that every Irish band in America can play by heart? How is that not a firing offense–being a music critic who doesn’t know that Thin Lizzy didn’t write that song? And who claims to be partial to bands who can write songs?