But We Can Read What You Wrote, Campfield!

So, today Campfield says

The left went nuts! How dare I admit slavery was ever legal! How dare I ever admit that steps were taken to give former slaves rights after the civil war! How could I think the 14th was drafted to give former slaves rights and not every person born in the US?

And I’m looking around, wondering, “Which left is he talking about?” I’m pretty sure I have every lefty Tennessee blog in my Google Reader and I think I’m the only person who wrote about his post yesterday.  Sure, Sean Braisted and Goldni were poking fun at the post over at Tiny Pasture’s, but they were, same as me, making fun of his fear of babies and his inability to read the Constitution (or federal code, if the 14th amendment seemed unclear to him).

So, who are these mysterious lefties who are outraged at him admitting slavery was legal?  I made an aside pointing out that, though Africans were generally brought here legally, there were some smugglers and folks who would kidnap free blacks and sell them into slavery.  That’s a fact, too.

But let’s just pretend that there is some small group of Lefties who know enough to use the internet to faithfully read Campfield, but not enough to show up on the radar of anyone but him, who read his whole strange screed that seemed to be unable to differentiate between parents and children and which advocated undermining the Constitution through pretending that the 14th Amendment is somehow too complicated and mysterious to apply to everyone, and those Lefties didn’t get upset at all that, but somehow focused in solely on his slavery point.

Fine.  I’m willing to pretend.

My point is that Campfield did not say yesterday what he is claiming to have said today.

Yesterday:

The amendment to the constitution that is so confusing was put in place for descendants of slaves so they could become US citizens.

Today:

How could I think the 14th was drafted to give former slaves rights and not every person born in the US?

Those are not the same thing.  Descendants of slaves are different than former slaves.  Just like descendants of illegal immigrants are different  than illegal immigrants.  Parents are different than children.

I, if I am indeed the “Left” who was going nuts over this post, which it appears I might be, was not upset that Campfield noticed that there used to be slavery.  I am, in fact, not at all shocked that he seems to know a little history.  I was shocked that he seemed to think that the words of the 14th Amendment somehow mean something other than what they say.  And I’m entertained to no end to see him now trying to spin things so that he is the deliberately misunderstood victim of some smear campaign by the Left (or me or both, if those are the same thing) instead of the truth, which is him making the Constitution the deliberately misunderstood victim of a smear campaign by him.

And I eagerly await the moment when it dawns on him that he is attempting to do to the children of illegal immigrants exactly what we, as a nation, were afraid would happen to ex-slaves–denying them the right to citizenship, even though there were born here and are legally recognized people.

When will Campfield see that the very legislation he is so proud of trying to get passed is designed deliberately and specifically to deny legal personhood to illegal immigrants and their descendants?  No birth certificates for children born here who’s parents are here illegally?  One step towards stripping those children of their status as legal persons.  Arguing that there is a group of people in the United States, many of whom were born here, who are somehow outside the jurisdiction of the United States?  Another step towards stripping those people of their status as legal persons.  Arguing that the Constitution, which is the law of the land doesn’t apply to some types of people ON THIS LAND?  Yet another step towards stripping those people of their status as legal persons.

Will Campfield ever realize the bitter poetic injustice of his being a servant of the people of Tennessee while at the same time working to deny legal personhood to some of those people?

I doubt it, but you never know.

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30 thoughts on “But We Can Read What You Wrote, Campfield!

  1. Well, maybe Kos picked it up? I don’t read over there so I don’t know. I’ve just been racking my brain (wracking my brain? I’m not sure which.) trying to think if there could be some big group outrage over Campfield that’s not on my radar. But wouldn’t Kleinheider have noticed that?

    no, I think I may be The Entire Left.

    I should get a t-shirt made.

  2. sell ’em, just as long as the proceeds go for left-wing beer, you crazy lefty, you. look at the bright side, though. if you’re the entire left, you’re also a party all by yourself. Aunt B., the ultimate party animal.

    heh.

  3. Conservatives are funny, or would be if they were’nt so dangerous.

    “The 2nd amendment means exactly what it says in plain English. Everything else in the constitution, not so much.”

  4. I just told the Butcher that I think Campfield might be calling me The Left and the Butcher’s all like “Are you sure he’s not just confused because you’re left-handed? Or maybe the Rapture was last night and you’re left, like left behind?”

    And I was all “Well, that could be. You are the only other person I’ve seen today so far and I didn’t expect you to go in the first round.”

  5. Do Mennonites believe in the Rapture? When I was Methodist, we didn’t. We took the whole Book of Revelations to either be a thinly veiled reference to stuff going on in John’s time or a prophecy that would be clear in retrospect, but confusing going forward.

  6. Weird, I’m a methodist and I think we believe in the rapture. Well, sort of, not the Left Behind kind of rapture, but something similar. We haven’t gotten to Revelation in the bible study yet, but Bro. Don was saying something about it a couple of weeks ago.

    I was too busy trying to figure out the “women should keep their mouths shut, not teach, and not be in charge of men” thing in 1 Timothy to really get what Bro. Don was saying about the rapture. I’m the “weird liberal feminist” of my Bible study, haha.

  7. Do Mennonites believe in the Rapture?

    Well, yes and no. We believe in the Second Coming and the gathering of Saints in the air.

    We don’t really believe, though, that it’s going to look like “A Thief In The Night” or those other Rapture Movies. Or, I guess “Left Behind”.

    Mostly because we don’t believe in a God of fear, which is what those rapture theorists capitalise on.

  8. Can’t wait for The Rapture. Maybe then I can go to the goddamn liquor store on goddamn Sunday.

    By saying your name, Campy fears it will give you power. Backwards, superstitous people are like that.

  9. Except you’ll have to have a tattoo on your forehead, Sar, to buy anything, and I don’t figure you for a tattoo on your forehead kinda guy.

  10. Ivy, are you a United Methodist or a Southern Methodist? UMC doctrine tends to focus on grace and how you live accountably and resting assured in salvation; the whole rapture thing (historically speaking) has been peripheral to their doctrine. SMCs are typically closer to Southern Baptists on “taking up the Redeemed.” But heck, you know what your church teaches better than me.

  11. Maybe then I can go to the goddamn liquor store on goddamn Sunday.

    Hey, if I had my way the liquor store would be open on Sunday right now.

    But I just say that because I love the caramel baileys over ice cream. I’m even a liquor nerd.

  12. I’m a United Methodist, but I’m fairly new to the whole thing. I know we had a Bible study that solely dealt with the book of Revelation, but I’m not really interested in it, so I didn’t do that study. I was trying to think what our pastor said about the Rapture, and all I can really remember is that he said he didn’t believe we’ll all be whisked away to Heaven when the end times come, but we’ll all have to go through tribulation. And he said something about some treaty will be signed with Israel and then we’ll all be fucked. (paraphrasing)

    Other than that, not much has been said about it at all. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal in our church, we’re more into stuff like praising God, helping other people, and living better lives, being nicer, all that stuff.

    I’m hell on wheels at Bible study, since I only really started to be interested in churchly things in the past couple of years, and I look at everything from a pretty skeptical point of view.

  13. Exador, more than anything I want to believe that is a thinly veiled reference to oral sex, as in, when he is kneeling in front of you, you see 999 on the back of his head. Because that would be a fun and funny fight for me to watch.

    Ivy, I’m not sure. I know Methodists certainly believe in the second coming but the Rapture, as popularly understood, no, I don’t think we/you do. I’m curious, though, to hear what you guys find in your Bible study. I may be making a distinction without an actual difference.

    My understanding is that the Methodists do believe that Christ will come again and take whoever believes in him into Heaven.

    When I think of “The Rapture,” I think of an element of nanny-nanny-boo-boo-we-showed-you” ism added to that.

  14. When I think of The Rapture, I think if Mimi Rogers getting nekkid with random strangers. Add to your Netflix queue right now.

    If you able to see the back of someone’s head during oral sex, either you are doing it wrong or have a neck like a giraffe.

  15. Doesn’t a ball cap sit on the back of your head? I might be confused about what parts of heads are called. I assumed one could hide one’s 666 under his hat.

  16. Point of clarification: The Rapture is actually never mentioned in Revelation. It comes from a passage in 1 Thessalonians 4 where Paul assures the church in Thessalonica that those who have died before Christ’s return will experience bodily resurrection. The Left Behind-style Rapture is a fairly recent interpretation of this Scripture based on Paul’s comment that those who are living will be “caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air.” The idea is that people will meet Jesus as he comes down rather than join him as he goes up.

    As for United Methodists, the Rapture is mentioned neither in our Book of Disciple nor our Book of Resolutions (that I can find). In official church curriculum resources seem to agree that the current-day, popular view of the Rapture is a loose interpretation of 1 Thessalonians 4 that many people wrongly assume comes from Revelation.

  17. Maybe then I can go to the goddamn liquor store on goddamn Sunday.

    Hey, if I had my way the liquor store would be open on Sunday right now.

    And if I had my way it wouldn’t matter so much because you’d be able to buy your wine and booze at the grocery.

    Speaking of the Rapture, does anyone besides me remember when they used to start Six Feet Under by showing you the death of the dead person of the week, and they dramatized the old Rapture/sex dolls joke? It was one of their funniest openings ever.

  18. Even back where it starts to round off?

    Case in point, my Dear. where the premise has long been explored, exploited, and now, I’m afraid, exhumed.

  19. Speaking of the Rapture, does anyone besides me remember when they used to start Six Feet Under by showing you the death of the dead person of the week, and they dramatized the old Rapture/sex dolls joke? It was one of their funniest openings ever.

    Yes, it was hysterical. That show was the best show on television…

  20. Best of All: 668 The Neighbor of the Beast.

    I LOVE IT when I get to be “The Left.” It happens once in a while.

    It’s like we’re the Borg or something.

  21. Pingback: Living in TN… « The Crone Speaks

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