So, my nephew runs around saying things like “I’m better than God!” and “I can kick God’s butt!” and “I’m a better ninja than God.” (though in all fairness to God, I doubt that’s true.), which he doesn’t just say softly or in his indoor voice.
No, little dude runs around saying it like he’s standing on God’s front lawn, trying to get a rise out of the old man, so he can have it out with Him in front of the whole neighborhood.
So, last night, we’re at this Mexican place (yes, I know, it was like a short tour of Mexican restaurants for me yesterday) and the kid is upset because he doesn’t speak Mexican and so he’s afraid he will not be able to order. I have to spend the whole car ride teaching him the Spanish words I know (and so, he was able to order “salsa,” “pico de gallo,” “pollo,” “cervesa,” and “pendejo.” Which made for an interesting meal. Ha, no, just kidding. We didn’t let him order any beer.) in order to calm his fears.
And we get in the restaurant and of course the server comes over and he speaks English and the kid is able to order chicken tenders and fries in English, but he’s briefly convinced that just stepping foot in the restaurant has made him able to speak Spanish. Sadly, he quickly figured out, with some sense of awe, that people can speak two languages, if not more.
And then, though, for no reason, he stands up and shouts “I’m only going to eat my French fries! I’m greater than God.” Which, for some reason, brough a strange look of peace and relief to the guy at the other table whose kids were throwing salsa at each other. But who knows, maybe God was all like “Dang, I have to eat my chicken tenders AND my French fries before my aunt will stupidly order me a taco I’ll refuse to eat becaue I don’t like ‘salad’. Unfair.”
I’m just saying, my dad has this sign on the wall that used to hang in his office that says “When God and a child get caught up in a dream, anything can happen and usually does” and I believe that. When kids are doing what they do about the Divine, you just butt out and let them work it out.
As we were walking out of the restaurant, my dad’s all like “Kid, grab hands with someone bigger than you” and the kid is all “Okay, I’m going to hold God’s hand” and so he reached out into the air and grabbed a hold and took off down the sidewalk.
So, I guess, no hard feelings.