Wedding Plans

My intern has the most beautiful handwriting in the whole world. I shit you not. And I was marveling over it today at work and accusing him of developing such beautiful handwriting so that he could game the system in school, where he could write something like “Just adding three parts hydrogen to two parts water will result in a plethora of frogs” and his professors would be all like “Oh, my god, it doesn’t seem true, but how can anything be false in such a factual looking handwriting?”

Anyway, I was all “Oh my god, I want you to write…”

And he said “Your wedding invitations?”

And I said, “Well, I’d have to find someone and get engaged all before you go back to school in the fall.”

And he said, “Not really. We could just pick a name and put it on there–like John R. Smith–and you just advertise on Craig’s list that you’ll only see dudes with that name. Then they’re ready to go whenever you find the right John R. Smith.”

To which I said “Bwah ha ha ha ha.”

But to which I was, of course, thinking “I have to blog about that.”

7 thoughts on “Wedding Plans

  1. my handwriting was never out of the toilet; i was a computer geek born. nowadays when i (rarely) write by hand, it’s all-uppercase block lettering which looks like crap even for what it is.

    which makes it really weird that i keep lusting after a good fountain pen. i never even carry any pen, and hardly ever use one. yet i want one of those steel nibs, except better quality than the cheapskate cartridge refillable they tried to teach me cursive with way back in primary school. how odd is that?

  2. I used to date guy that had the most beautiful handwriting I have ever seen. I thought that the letters he wrote me were marvelous, he could really turn a phrase, too. Ah, I miss him sometimes.

  3. My guy has gorgeous handwriting, prettier than most girls’. It makes me sick. I used to have nice neat handwriting before I worked full time in a surgeon’s office for 14 years and now it’s total crap.

    If you don’t find a John Smith to marry, I’ll let you borrow The Edge for calligraphy needs.

  4. Is it too late for me to intern under Aunt B? I could deliver delicious baked goods. I’m a dead-eye with a staple gun and tacks.

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