Random Things I’d Clone to Enjoy Later

Booger the Pitbull has been cloned!  According to Yahoo! a woman sold her house so that she could clone her dog.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’d get a kick out of having a clone of Mrs. Wigglebottom, but those are just Booger’s twins.  They are not Booger.  It delights me that someone would clone a pitbull but bugs me that we’re supposed to pretend that clone is somehow that dog.

–In what appears to me to be a misguided attempt to woo Ron Paul supporters, John McCain confuses “Libertarian” behavior with “Libertine” behavior and threatens to make the folks in Sturgis watch his wife take her shirt off.

Exactly, Pith.  Exactly.  My question for folks is what are we doing to help protect folks from people like this.  I’m tickled that Tobia is naming names, but is that information getting out to the people who need it?

–Okay, internet, I need some advice.  I want a restaurant in town cool enough to impress teenage girls but not so expensive that I have to sell a kidney to afford it.  But also not someplace that their parents would normally take them to.  Any ideas?  Has anyone tried the make your own pancake place in Berry Hill?  Dare I go to Berry Hill after all my pissing and moaning about how the cops there treated Juana Villegas?  If I got arrested on some trumped up bullshit charge just so they could run me through the Federal Database, would you all pitch in to bail me out?  Just wondering.

It’s Like I Know Rock Stars

So, I was on a mission to retrieve my cell phone and drop some books off for Rachel, which meant navigating the maze which is that part of town.  I managed, though that’s not what I want to write about.

First, I went up to the desk to leave Rachel her books and the woman was all “Humph, can I help you?” and I was all “I need to leave these books for Rachel…” and I didn’t even get her last name out and it was like the clouds parted and the birds came out and the angels sang a perfect chord and that woman’s attitude went from “Don’t even fucking bother me” to “And can I get you a comfy pillow to stand on?”

She was all “Oh, be sure to write down your name so she knows where they came from.”  And “Oh, I know how it is when someone brings you something to the office.”  and “I’ll be sure Rachel gets them.  Isn’t she so nice?”

And then, I find my way to my next stop and I’m all “I need to retrieve my phone.  Mack’s neighbo…” Again, didn’t even get the whole thing out and literally, every person in the office poked their head out to see who this woman who knew Mack was and isn’t his wife so nice and aren’t their kids so smart and isn’t their place so gorgeous and please do tell the primary wife hello for me and for me and for me tee hee hee.

And then I get back to the office here and my boss is all “Beth is coming, soon.” in this hushed voice.

Sweet Jesus, people.  I like y’all, but I had no idea how great people think you are.

Gee, I Wonder Why

One of the more interesting accusations to come out of the whole Shelbyville/Tyson/Somali thing is that the Somalis are rude, oh, so rude, you don’t even understand how rude they are, America, but my god the rudeness, and you know how we Southerners are, with our politeness and so the rudeness is even more galling to us and did I mention how rude they were rude rude rude and that’s why we hate them?  See, they’re rude.  Oh, and they refuse to learn English.

But, if you look a little more closely, and I’m not even talking using deep analytic egg-headed academic skills here, I’m just talking about paying close attention to what folks are saying, the complaint seems to be that the Somalis aren’t stupid.

Let’s just assume that the refugees from Somolia in Shelbyville have ears to hear and eyes to read.  Let’s assume that at least a few of them have access to the internet or know someone with access to the internet.  In other words, that they are people living in a mid-sized Tennessee city.

And let’s just for a minute, put ourselves in the position of someone with eyes to see, ears to hear, and internet access to research, who is trying to establish himself in a small community in the American South.

When you read the reporter from the local paper sayingWhen I began researching this story about the Somalis, I knew it would be controversial. We were aware that many in Shelbyville were having serious concerns about hundreds of Sunni Muslims moving here.” Catch that?  Already you learn that, before he even started writing the story, he had it in his mind that Somalis moving to town was a legitimate cause for concern.  And that many people in the city in which you live have these concerns.

Then, maybe you do a little research on this reporter and you discover his blog, chock full of his anti-Muslim beliefs.  Do you think you’re going to get a fair shake from him?

But, okay, even if the paper makes it seem like you’re not going to be welcome, let’s at least give the people of Shelbyville a chance, right?  I mean, it’s not like everywhere you look online you see people from Shelbyville saying

They refuse to be a part of the community or to respect the citizens here . . . that is all to it. Its not any issue with racism or us picking on some small minority . . . it’s the fact that we constantly have to deal with their rude behavior and them snubbing us as inferior and infidels while we are asked to bend over backwards for them. It is just getting old . . . (here)


these somalia ppl are HATEFUL,,,,,,,i JUST WISH THAT YOU HAD THEM. I am not a biased person, ,,,,,open to all,,,,,,,these are rude, crude, and hateful,,,,,,mean. we will rue the day that we invited them to our country. they hate us and our country.


ALL the hijackers- MURDERERS were MUSLIM!

MUSLIMS raise their fists and shout “Death to America”

MUSLIMS behead innocents in the name of ALLAH,

MUSLIMS “preach” peace yet all the suicide/homicide bombers are MUSLIM.

I leave you with this:

Not all Muslims are terrorists, but MOST TERRORISTS ARE MUSLIM!

And so on and you’re supposed to believe that you’re the one with the problem?

I ask you this, Tennessee.  If you knew that many of your neighbors hated you with this kind of vitriol, just how nice would you be?  Or would you maybe keep to yourself and limit your contact with folks you didn’t know and, oh, I don’t know, seem a little rude, as a defense?

It’s pretty hilarious, in a sad way, I have to admit.  I mean, you’d think it might occur to someone that the Somalis in your midst are rude to you because they know you hate them.  I mean, are they supposed to pretend like they don’t know?

It boggles the mind.


But, the best part from Brian Mosley’s op-ed is this

It also doesn’t help that the most common image of Somalis in American popular culture is from the Ridley Scott film “Black Hawk Down,” which depicts them as brutal, wild-eyed fanatics slaughtering U.S. troops in the name of Allah and barbaric warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid.

Because what if the tables were turned?  What if the Somalis went to their local video store and rented some movies about the region of our country they were settling in?  You’re going to tell me that, if African refugees spent any time watching Gone with the Wind, or Mississippi Burning or O Brother, Where Art Thou orTo Kill a Mockingbird or Roots or any other movie ever made about the American South, you’re going to be surprised that they might be wary of having anything at all to do with white Southerners?

Folks, I don’t know if you know this, but fair or not, we don’t have the greatest reputation for nonviolent tolerance.

I don’t know.  From where I’m sitting, it’s very hard to see this as anything other than “How dare those people treat us how we treat them!”