Give Me a Kiss to Build a Dream On

Some days I regret even opening my feed reader.  Tiny Pasture reports that there are actually people up in arms about Obama kissing Joe Biden’s wife.

Let me just say that, if you are worked up over this, you are either twelve or a jackass.  Perhaps you’ve never kissed anyone.  I don’t know.

This is, though, why I hate the public greeting kiss.  First, there are lip-kissers.  A small group, but there for sure.  And there are the air kissers, a practice so vile and disgusting that it causes me pain to even mention them.  But mostly there are two schools of cheek kissers.  There are the people who kiss on the cheek, about half-way back between the corner of the mouth and the ear and the people who attempt to kiss just next to the corner of the mouth.

If you are a public figure, needless to say, you should aim for being a cheek kisser who aims for that spot between the mouth and the ear.  That way, even if you and the kissee misunderstand which cheek you’re going for, at worst, you just end up kissing them next to their mouth, not on it.

Because, of course, if you are not a kiss-upon-greeting kisser and believe me, most of us midwesterners are not–Good lord, I don’t even like to kiss my mom.  And I don’t believe I am alone in that.  Well, I mean, about midwesterners wanting to kiss their mothers.  My mom’s pretty cute, so I’m sure that there are unrelated people to her that would not mind at all kissing her.–you are running a pretty high risk of having an accidental mouth kiss.

Do you go left or right?  Does the person you’re trying to kiss-upon-greeting go left or right?

Who knows?

Can’t we just shake hands?

Anyway, though, the idea that Jill Biden is somehow dishonored because Obama kissed her?  That Joe Biden should have punched him?

Okay, clearly people feel that way, but it seems like a joke.  Do they not know that there are people, weird people mind you, who kiss each other upon greeting?  I mean, they cannot truly be outraged by this, can they?

And, if so, what exactly is it about seeing a very common social custom on tv?  Some people kiss upon greeting, even on the lips.  Tiny Pasture alludes to the spectre of misegination in the title of his post and I can’t help but think that that’s what people are outraged about–that a black man would kiss a white woman in public, even as a greeting.

In which case, I say, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  Sucks to be you.

15 thoughts on “Give Me a Kiss to Build a Dream On

  1. Sheesh – with cheek kiss greetings, the left/right-who-goes-where problem you mention can also lead to kisses ending up inappropriately placed. I’m assuming, too, that neither Joe Biden nor his wife need a bunch of online yahoos like Hornback to define and defend for them. Gah. It’s only 8am and I’m already all full up on stupid.

  2. Am I the only one who doesn’t see lip contact? Sure it’s not optimal placement, but to me looks like he landed on the right side of her chin.

  3. I was so rooting for Obama to follow up by kissing Joe, too. Smash the symbolic barriers!

    There used to be this TV game show in Spain (where everyone does the right-left-right triple air-kiss) where the hostess would do left-right-left. It shook the contestants up pretty thoroughly.

  4. That would have been so awesome.

    Yes. We embrace eeeeeverybody in this party, y’all. Literally. I would have kissed the TV.

    Oh, and an excited personal note: Take 6 (woot woot) will be singing with Stevie Wonder tonight at 7:20 CDT before Obama’s speech. I know this because The Inimitable Dr. Cedric Dent, who now teaches at my alma mater, told us so.

    That rocks.

    And in other political news, my mom, a Hillary supporter, is ready to make sure all the ladies in her Bible-study class (the Wednesday Morning Ladies’ Bible Study, Sewing Circle and Terorrist Society) are not only registered to vote but HAVE A WAY TO THE POLLS FOR EARLY VOTING. She is going to tell them she will drive them over to the early-voting sites after their class and wait while they vote, and then they’ll go to lunch.

    My mother, a budding political activist at 74. I could shout.

  5. Speaking of the music at the convention, will they please stop playing “The Rising”? I really, really don’t want a song about a firefighter running up the stairs of the WTC to his death to be misunderstood and used as a call to unity. I get chills and burst into tears every time they play it. And not in a good way.

  6. People who lack the wit to write something substantive yap about puerile bullshit instead. Next they’ll be worked up about something stupid like a lapel pin…oh, wait, already did that one. Color of tie? Nope, already done that one too. When these same guys wring their hands and lament the screwed-up political system, they need to take a hard look in the mirror.

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