Oooh, Call Me, Ben & Jerry’s

Last night, my dad invented an ice cream–chocolate with bits of pretzel throughout.  But, no, we thought, the pretzel would get soggy and no good.

My solution?

Coat the pretzel bits in chocolate and then put them in the ice cream.

I know!  How yummy does that sound?

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What About “Smarts First; English Second”?

I’m just trying to help the “English First” or “English Only” crowd come up with some slogans that might better fit their needs.

Thanks to Tiny Pasture, we learn that only five folks showed up at the scheduled English First protest and that, better yet, the folks were targeting a fund-raising breakfast for a Goodlettsville state senator.

Yes, folks, the people protesting to make Nashville English-first targeted a fund-raising breakfast for a Goodlettsville state senator.  Best quote?

The Goodlettsville Democrat has made no comment about the measure and has no role in city government.

How did this happen?  No, don’t tell me.  I like just laughing about it.

I’ll Buy Beer and Pizza

Nashville, it’s not that I don’t believe the Butcher’s friends are going to show up on Saturday, it’s just that… well, I don’t believe the Butcher’s friends are going to show up on Saturday.  He says “So what?  I’ll just move everything myself.  I can do it.”

This seems to me so dumb.  Why would we take all day to move everything ourselves when, if we just had even a little dependable help we could have everything on and off the truck in a couple of hours?

So, I’m asking for help.  If you’re looking for something to do on Saturday, we could really use the help moving.  We’ll get started around eight or nine and we have to have the truck back before four so one way or another it’s got to be done by then.

So, yeah, I guess it’ll kind of suck and I can’t afford to pay you (though I will let you stand next to my old bookshelves, on the off chance they come up with some trick to grant them a reprieve from the dump), but I will buy beer and pizza and I’ll let you pet my dog.  Or the Butcher.  Whichever you like.

And I’ll be in your debt forever.  Obviously.

Barr and Nader

I am not psychic, nor do I play a guy who is pretending to be a psychic so he can work for the Santa Barbara police for laughs nor a guy who is through pretending to be a psychic so that he can work for the California Bureau of Investigation for serious, but I swear this morning as I was watching CNN, I heard the Church Secretary in my head and he said, “Oh, sure, we have to hear from third-party candidates Barr and Nader about the economy but nothing from McKinney?”

I mean, neither Barr nor Nader is any more likely to ever be president than McKinney, so I’m confused about why they get airtime and she doesn’t.  Does Nader even have a party backing him?

I mean, I like the idea of hearing from third-party candidates every once in a while on these kinds of important issues because they have nothing to lose.  They can say exactly what they’re thinking, which is useful to me as I try to understand what’s going on.

I’m just curious about how it gets decided who is important enough to take semi-seriously and who is not.

Also: Speaking of CNN this morning, have any of you seen that Korean Air ad?  There’s a lingering shot of a blue high heel shoe on a woman’s foot and then a man has a bottle of champaign right by his crotch which he then lets off with a “pop.”  I was dying!  I mean, usually the vagina penis symbolism is not so blatant.  (Or much more.)