Also, I must make a confession, which I am reminded of in a round-about way from Clarke to Raven to Crow to Old Crow Medicine Show, Old Crow Medicine Show, when they suck, suck hard.
I am, however, excited to meet the crows in my new neighborhood. I hear them in the evening and it makes me happy.
Still no great insight into how I’m going to “sit out” at the new place, but still excited that I will have my own ground upon which to sit. I think my plan may be to ask Mack to mow one more time and then have him help me set up a little makeshift altar–just a few bricks and a board–in one of the clear spots in the back yard. But I can’t quite figure out how to deliniate a circle that can stand for nine days without being too obtrusive during the day.
Also, here’s something I think about but can’t quite figure out–what is an appropriate sacrifice? Last year, I had trail mix (which I love), and craisins (which I love), and Reese’s peanut butter cups (which I love) and I left them on my altar for the nine days and then at the end of it, I put them and all the ashes and other left over stuff in a Burger King bag and stopped at the foot of the hill on my way to visit Mack and tossed it all into the creek and turned my back on it and let it go its own way and I went mine.
And I do leave a glass of alcohol when we have it in the house on the window for the Old Man, when I think of it.
But my fortune this past year has been extraordinary–my biopsy went well, I’ve now got a diagnosis for my girly problems and a course of action to bring them under control and return my cooter to me happy and healthy, I bought a house, and my dad came through his bypass with flying colors, and I am, as always, sappily greatful for y’all, my dear, dear friends.
I don’t believe in sacrifice that is suffering. Does that make sense? I don’t believe it is healthy, for me, anyway, to view sacrifice as a way to hurt myself or make myself uncomfortable or to increase my suffering in order to… I don’t know… even the scales, so that the abundance I have been given falls into an equal sized hole of lack.
I want to acknowledge that abundance, though, and to make a real gesture of ritual sharing.
And that I’ve not yet figured out for myself–what is an appropriate gesture for me of ritual sharing with the Sacred?