Unboyfriendable True Blood

1.  Dear Women of True Blood, please put on some pants.  Thank you.

2.  Dear Sookie, next time, just wear a sign that says “I fuck vampires.”  The smile is annoying.

3.  Sam, I hope you have a good twin, who is the guy with Tara, because you are a stalkery jerk.

4.  Randy Sue, oh ha ha ha ha.

Something about this episode makes me feel like I’m peeking in a 17 year old girl’s diary.

We’ve met another black resident of Bon Temps.  I’m going to fan wank that she’s married to the grave digger.  That’d be nice.

Jason is an idiot.

If the killer is who it is in the book, they’ve done a lousy, lousy job of setting it up.  But I’m holding out hope that they’ve changed killers.

Sam is still an idiot.

And Sookie is kind of an idiot, too.

Oh, the Magical Negro is officially here with the arrival of the exorcist.  The theology of this whole segment is going to drive me to drink.  Don’t try that shit at home, kids.

Oh dear god, and Jason’s hippie girl is theologizing in another way that’s going to drive me to drink even more.

But I do love Jason, a little bit.

I’m glad to see someone taught the arsonists to stop, drop, and roll.

Naked Sam may be my favorite part of this whole episode, I must say.

Who bets pervy uncle is one of the bodies?

——————–

So, yes, every Sunday I sit down and watch this show and am struck simultaneously by the thought that it’s just terrible and I’m pissed it’s over so soon.  This week is no exception.

Tonight there are two things that stick with me.  One is that Andy’s cousin is just most excellently rendered in a very few strokes.  The other is that there are perfectly nice actual American folk magic traditions that they could have drawn on for the exorcism scene and I’m disappointed that we didn’t see that or something more closely approximating that.  And what a mess we were left with instead!  If it was supposed to be some kind of voodoo exorcism (to use both terms loosely), where was the invocation of the gods?  If it was a more Christianized voooo exorcism, where were the saints?  And while every hoodoo worker has his or her own style, I just cannot believe that getting rid of a demon (or removing a curse or whatever, as the case may be) could be done in an evening.  I’ve never heard of a hoodoo ritual that takes just one evening and I cannot imagine the one evening ritual that would get rid of a demon.  I mean, if you want to make someone love you, that takes nine nights.

Poor possum, anyway.

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Horsing Around

I was driving home and remembering the horse and it made me laugh out loud again, so I thought I would tell you about it.

So, the horse is at the trough and first she puts down her head and kind of half submerges her nose, like she’s playing “I am a hairy alligator, floating in the swamp.”  Then, she put her whole nose in the water and blew out, like she was trying to make bubbles, and I could see the whole surface of the water rippling out.

She backed away a little, and stomped her back foot and tossed her head, like she was laughing at herself.  Then she scampered, as much as an animal that large can scamper, back up the hill.

The thing that sticks with me is that the horse was clearly amusing herself.  I always wonder about that.  I mean, I play and I know it’s fun and feels pleasant.  But it’s complicated, if you think about it–in order to play, you have to have an understanding that what you’re doing right that moment is somehow “unreal” or “not serious.”

How do you develop that?  The sense that you can horse around, literally?  Ha, I hadn’t given that little phrase any thought until just now.  I wonder where it originated.  It does seem fitting.

Hmm.

I’m in Trouble for Spoiling Meet the Press

Both of my brothers are made at me for telling them the big Meet the Press News thirty-five minutes before they intended to watch it.

Anyway, I said I’d give them a dollar if they explained who the Black Keys are, because I’m tired of pretending like I have any idea who they are, so now we’re watching them on my TV, which is pretty wild.  How did my brothers develop the ability to answer any questions I have with an appropriate television show?

I’m just wondering what other questions I should try to get answered.

Anyway, my brother reports that even the Georgia racists are considering voting for Obama, if Powell endorses him (to bring this post full circle).  As he pointed out, if you’re a Republican and even the Klan is wavering on voting for you, you’ve got some problems with your base.