I have a sleeping bag. But I never thought of using it as a giant vagina.
Now it’s all I can do to not walk up to attractive cops on street corners and say “My, you look cold. Might you like to slip into my sleeping bag?” and then wink.
We were having a discussion about women who stop trying after they’re married. And I pointed out that the advantage to me is that I stopped trying decades ago, so there are no surprises. I already burp and fart in public and don’t bother to wear make-up unless I think there’s the off chance I might get laid. Shoot, if I have my overalls on, i can’t even be bothered to put on a bra on the weekends, because I find them oppressive and sometimes they give me a boob cramp and any piece of clothing that causes you to have a boob cramp is so obviously evil.
Which brings us to boob cramps, speaking of women’s health. Sometimes, when I bend forward, I get a cramp right under my boob where the underwire rests. I’m worried that the underwire on my bras is deforming the muscle there or something.
In a perfect world, I would do away with bras all together and women would either have boob handlers who would hold them up for them or we would develop boob unicycles.