The Other Thing I’m Fired Up About

The response to Jennifer Hudson’s family’s tragedy.  I can’t even link to it, it makes me so sick.  But listen: Unless Jennifer Hudson bought her family members houses on Mars, there is no place she could have put them that would have guaranteed their safety from this guy.  Men who want to kill their partners find ways to do it.  And the blame is with no one but the killers.

Second, this was clearly the culmination of domestic abuse, so the family living in that “unsafe” neighborhood is beside the point.  The threat didn’t come from the neighborhood, it came from the killer.

Third, this is not Jennifer Hudson’s sister’s fault for bringing a dangerous man into her family’s lives.  First, abusers can be very charming and they can hide those abusive tendencies from you, and then from your family.  It wasn’t like she went out and said, “Let me find someone really dangerous who will hurt me and my family and date him!  Wow, that’d be so great!”  Also, the most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves an abuser.  When abusers say “If you leave me, I will kill you,” it provides you with great motivation to stay.

Blaming the victims and their family is sick and gross and reprehensible.

That is all.

7 thoughts on “The Other Thing I’m Fired Up About

  1. I hadn’t looked into the story very much, beyond seeing it plastered over every newspaper and television screen (with a local station playing) within sight. So the only thing that disgusts me is the shameless relish with which the corporate media here are pimping the family’s tribulations. I’m guessing some of that pimping has gone national, but I ain’t looking to find out.

    I guess right now there’s nothing else of importance of which the public has a right to know.

  2. Oh, and B., I did notice something else around the firehouse yesterday. Besides being demonstrative of how men are at least as prone as women to gossip (so much for that sexist stereotype), the ‘water cooler’ scuttlebutt about the Hudson family tribulation seemed to follow a pattern. Almost every white colleague who spoke up about it blamed the victim by suggesting that the celebrity should have moved her family out of that ‘bad neighborhood.’ The handful of black colleagues who were in (or stopping by) the firehouse all defended the family by stating that the older victim (?) had lived in that house for most of her life, and saw no reason to leave her home.

    I guess the notion that there’s something inherently wrong or deadly about a working-class black neighborhood– at least inasmuch as having a wealthy or famous relative would make one a target– is (according to the details you provide, B.) immaterial to the alleged motives for the crimes.

  3. If Hudson hadn’t made good and moved out of her neighborhood, nobody would care and she’d be a statistic. From what little I’ve seen on television, her surviving family members struck me as the same type of person she seems to be – a humble, hard-working individual. My heart breaks for her family – and every other family touched by senseless crimes.

    No matter where one lives, whether in the swankiest neighborhood or the poorest ghetto, crime happens. One needs to look no farther than the Belle Meade/Green Hills housewife that is to be on trial for the murder of her husband here In Nashville.

    Violence and domestic abuse crosses all lines, whether they are socio-economic or racial — and all these people thinking “it won’t happen to me or someone I love” are just burying their heads in the sand. And that’s the first deadly mistake.

  4. CS–yes, exactly. The suspect they have in custody is Hudson’s sister’s husband, who she was planning to divorce. My understanding is that the SUV they found her nephew in was the husband’s.

    Like I said, she could have moved them anywhere and he would still have found them, if he had a mind to.

    And Beth, yes, exactly. Being rich is no protection from this kind of stuff.

  5. I forgot to mention that this smacks of the broohaha back during the Katrina mess – all those people who said “Why didn’t those people move?” — when you’ve lived somewhere all your life, it’s home.

    Bad things happen everywhere.

  6. CS — you said it best. Bravo

    Here’s an illustration – I just woke up from a nap and have better clarity – I’ve lived in 2 of the “worst” parts of Nashville – when I first lived here, I, like many of the transplants, lived in the Antioch area – for 5 years. Then I lived in East Nashville for almost a year.

    I now live in Belmont/Green Hills/12 South – an area that’s a mish-mash of 3 of the “nicer” neighborhoods. Where have I experienced crime? Right here where I”m sitting. Two years ago, a house across the street was broken into at 3 pm – in broad daylight. Same month, my neighbors car had the window smashed out and the stereo stolen. Last year, about this time I discovered that someone had slept in my car. Seriously.

    Nobody ever asked me “why don’t you move?” In East Nashville or Antioch, that would have been the first question/remark.

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