Why, yes, a girl can make it from Mack’s couch to my couch in 27 minutes, just to liveblog True Blood, in case you need to know for next season.
Oh, Rene, why do you have to be so fucking creepy now after a whole season of sweetness? Oh, and so creepy are you!
Is Tara naked? Oh, okay, no.
But where did she get pajamas? I should not overthink this should I? But is the mute guy perhaps some kind of man slave?
Oh, creepy white woman, you are so creepy.
And now there are more creepy white people! It’s like creepy white people quarter hour!
Ugh, no, never wear someone else’s bathing suit. That’s like sharing underpants!
A black guy, Eggs, who doesn’t seem to be related to Tara, who has a beautiful voice! “Collecting stray black people, is that some kind of hobby of hers?” Good question, Tara, good question.
But, is it just me, or does Eggs not seem to be looking directly at her? I mean, he’s handsome and all, but I am not trusting him, either.
Man, those are some kinds of shakes that white woman has.
But, god, could they stop with the creepy music when it comes to Rene? It’s hard to concentrate when the music is all “skreek, skreek, skreek.”
And I like that Terry has become the show’s Cassandra, just making true statements no one listens to.
How did Rene get all those tapes? And are there really tapes that help you perfect a Cajun accent, because, in general, I think most actors just watch The Big Easy and copy that.
Okay, so everyone knows now that Rene is the killer. Argh!!!!
Hurry Sam!! Hurry.
I’m sure he took out the … yes bullets.
Yes, because in the whole history of the world, screaming the name of the person you’re chasing to kill always convinces them to stop running. But I do thnk it’s interesting that Rene says he can feel Sookie in his head. Have we ever had any recognition before that it works like that?
Oh, Sookie, you are so stupid.
And Sam is naked again.
And Bill is melting.
Oh, Sookie, I’ve had to do that to some baby rabbits before. It stays with you.
And Bill looks like an overcooked marshmallow. Put him in the ground!
God, do not count on Sookie to save you. Apparently, it’s naked Sam to Bill’s rescue. Good god.
Aw, Andy, I’m sad that the whole county had good reason to think you’re an idiot.
Does Sam know Mary Ann? He does! He does!
Oh, god, is Jason going to become a religious freak? Oh, no no no.
Oh no! Did Bill kill Lafayette?!
TWO WEEKS LATER?! Oh, so cheesy.
No, no, no. I just don’t want to see Jason get scary Jesus.
Holy shit! Do all bar owners keep that much cash around? That seems unsafe.
But this terrible show has sucked me in! I can’t wait for next summer. Can we at least get a soundtrack before then?