Liveblogging the Season Finale of True Blood

Why, yes, a girl can make it from Mack’s couch to my couch in 27 minutes, just to liveblog True Blood, in case you need to know for next season.

Oh, Rene, why do you have to be so fucking creepy now after a whole season of sweetness?  Oh, and so creepy are you!

Is Tara naked?  Oh, okay, no.

But where did she get pajamas?  I should not overthink this should I?  But is the mute guy perhaps some kind of man slave?

Oh, creepy white woman, you are so creepy.

And now there are more creepy white people!  It’s like creepy white people quarter hour!

Ugh, no, never wear someone else’s bathing suit.  That’s like sharing underpants!

A black guy, Eggs, who doesn’t seem to be related to Tara, who has a beautiful voice!  “Collecting stray black people, is that some kind of hobby of hers?” Good question, Tara, good question.

But, is it just me, or does Eggs not seem to be looking directly at her?  I mean, he’s handsome and all, but I am not trusting him, either.

Man, those are some kinds of shakes that white woman has.

But, god, could they stop with the creepy music when it comes to Rene?  It’s hard to concentrate when the music is all “skreek, skreek, skreek.”

And I like that Terry has become the show’s Cassandra, just making true statements no one listens to.

How did Rene get all those tapes?  And are there really tapes that help you perfect a Cajun accent, because, in general, I think most actors just watch The Big Easy and copy that.

Okay, so everyone knows now that Rene is the killer.  Argh!!!!

Hurry Sam!!  Hurry.

I’m sure he took out the … yes bullets.

Yes, because in the whole history of the world, screaming the name of the person you’re chasing to kill always convinces them to stop running.  But I do thnk it’s interesting that Rene says he can feel Sookie in his head.  Have we ever had any recognition before that it works like that?

Oh, Bill.

Oh, Sookie, you are so stupid.

And Sam is naked again.

And Bill is melting.

Oh, Sookie, I’ve had to do that to some baby rabbits before.  It stays with you.

And Bill looks like an overcooked marshmallow.  Put him in the ground!

God, do not count on Sookie to save you.  Apparently, it’s naked Sam to Bill’s rescue.  Good god.

Aw, Andy, I’m sad that the whole county had good reason to think you’re an idiot.

Does Sam know Mary Ann?  He does!  He does!

Oh, god, is Jason going to become a religious freak?  Oh, no no no.

Oh no!  Did Bill kill Lafayette?!

TWO WEEKS LATER?!  Oh, so cheesy.

No, no, no.  I just don’t want to see Jason get scary Jesus.

Holy shit!  Do all bar owners keep that much cash around?  That seems unsafe.

Next summer?!

But this terrible show has sucked me in!  I can’t wait for next summer.  Can we at least get a soundtrack before then?

13 thoughts on “Liveblogging the Season Finale of True Blood

  1. I want so badly to type something of worth. Something intelligent. Something of wit. But sadly nothing comes to me except I can’t wait to watch it again. And pray it wasn’t Lafayette.. or if it was that he was turned.

  2. I say let Lafayette tame Jessica and give her to Hoyt.

    Unless Hoyt wants to tame her. Now that could get interesting.

    As for Bill — yes, the first thing I thought of was s’mores.

    I am craving Graham Crackers.

    Well done, True Blood cast! We knew they couldn’t let Bill die, didn’t we?

  3. I drove what the law allows, Speedy McSpeederson. But I did laugh at your comment. I reckon me forwards you backwards, you’d still get there before me.

  4. He has such a cute butt! And Tara in that bikini! Even though it grossed me out knowing that it wasn’t her bikini, but the bikini of a crazy white woman, I just have to say that, if I looked that good in a bikini, I’d be wearing it all the time.

  5. I did love Tara’s comment about her collecting stray black people. And I will be very sad if Lafayette is gone for good.

    Many of my Midwestern colleagues are fans of the show — and we have excellent recap discussions on Mondays. Interestingly, they do not necessarily think that black people were under-represented. This morning we discussed how terribly watchable it is. I cringe in almost every episode (example: post-vampire sex Sookie), and yet, I don’t miss an episode.

    Also, have we discussed the completely stupid way Bill says Sookie’s name?

  6. I would just like there to be more than one black family! But I’m glad to see that the suggestion now is that there are a bunch of black people, we’re just not seeing them. It was getting hard for me to take, otherwise.

    We have not discussed the completely stupid way Bill says Sookie’s name, but we are just about to.

  7. Pingback: Aw, Sookie, Sookie, Now « Tiny Cat Pants

  8. so sad that eggs had to die even though maryann brain washed him and the whole town:( if tara find out jason did all hell gon break loose. Bills maker probably kidnapped him but the again we’ll have to wait and see. so GLAD that maryann is dead good job Sam and bill for tricking her. loveeee Lafayette he brings energy and lota sass to true blood. poor tara i think she’s going to get very mentally crazy. TRUE BLOOD ROCK 4EVER!!!*

Comments are closed.