The Orange Cat Learns a Trade

I’ll admit that I’ve always thought that the orange cat was our most boring pet.  The dog is… well, the dog.  And unlike the tiny cat, the orange cat cannot vanish like some kind of phantom, he hasn’t taken up residence under the house, he can’t make himself mysteriously have feet of lead which crush you when they step on you, and he doesn’t catch things.  He does occasionally professional wrestle and he threw up on my bed yesterday after scarfing down all his food like it his last meal.

But, in general, he doesn’t do anything except sleep and walk around looking at things with a slight air of disdain.  “Oh, you again.  Oh, the dining room again.  Oh, this mail on the kitchen counter again.  Whatever.  I only care so that I can locate the most valuable thing in the room and scratch it.  And even that bores me.”

So, imagine my surprise to discover that the orange cat seems to have taken up plumbing.

(Not to get distracted from my story, but did I tell you that the Butcher has offered to adopt his friends’ cat?  Why can’t his friends keep their cat?  Because for reasons two vets haven’t been able to figure out, poop slowly leaks out of her butt!  This would, apparently, not be a problem at our house because she could just live in the garage and outside.  I still think poop slowly leaking out of your butt is a problem, regardless of where you live, but what do I know?  Anyway, I have put my foot down in the semi-firm ‘no’ column.  At least, I hope that’s the ‘no’ column.  I’d hate to think what else might be semi-firm where a poop-leaking cat is up for discussion.  They need to continue to try to address the problem.  If it comes down to them having to put the cat down, fine, let it come live here instead.  But we need to be the home of last resort.  I say this only (and you can bet I’ll eat these words later and Rachel, don’t look) because I think that, if the cat were outside more (or at all), she’d be able to get some exercise and some grass down her and that could straighten things out.  Meanwhile, continue to pay vets, friends!)

Where were we?  Oh, yes, the plumbing.

It started when the recalcitrant brother and my dad were poking around in my walls trying to fix my leaking faucet and the orange cat got into the wall.  We assumed it was just to explore (since we all knew it wasn’t to catch anything–slacker) and eventually, he came out.

Since then, though, every morning, he gets up and pulls the stopper out of the bathtub and contemplates it.  Stares at it, sniffs at it, places his paw on it.  And not in a playful manner, but like he’s really trying to get some information about how this thing feels.

And getting it out in the first place cannot be easy.  It’s heavy.  It’s hooked in down there someplace, and he’s got no real fingers.  And I keep putting it back.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m appreciative that someone is working on my tub, but I’m a little worried about what the bill is going to look like in the end.  He’s clocking a lot of hours on that job, let me tell you.

9 thoughts on “The Orange Cat Learns a Trade

  1. If a cat is leaking poop, letting it outside is not going to help (especially not this time of year). Remember cats evolved in desert climates. They handle heat much better than the cold (and they handle heat much better than their humans (despite the whole fur coat thing). Plus I don’t ever encourage someone making an indoor cat into an outdoor cat. Cats are non-native species in the US. They can be a danger to native wildlife. Outdoors the cats themselves are also susceptible to virus and bacteria that they aren’t exposed to inside not to mention predators, automobiles, parasites, territorial disputes with other cats, cruel people (who tend target cats more than other animals), etc.

    Cats do occasionally eat grass but you can buy wheat grass specifically for them at PetSmart, and if poop is leaking out I’d guess that it’s a muscular problem.

  2. The problem with the leaking could also be what they’re feeding the cat. Meowser at fatfu has a post about one of her cats who left poopgifts that were kinda runny. Changing the cat’s diet to one of ground organ meat with ground bones in it helped immensely. Not saying that is the problem with this cat, but it’s something to be looked at (cats don’t deal well with a grain diet, it’s not what they would eat in the wild).

  3. Well, I am a firm believer (though I know it’s unpopular) of letting cats go where they want. At our old place, the orange cat stayed outside 75% of the time and the tiny cat could not have cared less about the outside. At the house, the orange cat goes outside to go to the bathroom and hangs out outside if we’re out there, but otherwise, is busy… um… plumbing, I guess. And the tiny cat lives in the crawl space for reasons only she understands.

    In return, they’re much better behaved and seem much happier.

    I think the cat’s problem is that it used to be an indoor-outdoor cat and now is just an indoor cat and that they recently got a puppy. That’s a lot for a cat to adjust to and I think she’s probably just stressed out.

    Like I said, we’re not taking her unless it comes down to a life or death situation and it hasn’t yet.

    Vesta, I wondered about the diet as well. Maybe they could just bring her over at mealtimes and she could eat my moles!

  4. I think there might be something going on. My cat has spent the last week obsessed with the upstairs bathroom, particularly the tub and even more particularly the drain of the tub. She got behind the tub the other day and we thought maybe she was stuck — she’s sort of portly — but she was just waiting for something. Eventually, it was naptime, so she moved into the tub to sleep (for the first time) so she could keep her eye on the drain.

    Maybe she’s receiving psychic communications from the orange cat.

  5. Apparently I didn’t have to read it, because dolphin pretty much covered everything. Aside from which, I have two kitties who are so enamored of water that they get in the tub while the water is running full force, and who are often found wet.

  6. Perhaps this strange plumbing thing is infecting cats as far away as Oklahoma as the Horrible Siamese Kitten (who has actually grown into the Wonderful Siamese Cat, but I like the other name better) has been hanging out in the bathtub. He has always been deeply suspicious of the tub, since falling in with Demon Child as a kitten. Yet now, I can’t keep him out of the bathroom.

    And the Kitchen Cat has also spent time visiting the bathroom, trying to lift the lid to poke her head in the toilet. Is she looking for something? Listening for something? Or trying to commit suicide?

    Weird. Cats using the pipelines as a pipeline. There’s a creepy story in that somewhere…

  7. Heyyyy…. our new kittencats are also obsessed with the bathroom, and keep trying to hop in the tub when we aren’t looking. I wonder if there’s some big cat secret we’re not in on?

  8. Next year, when we’re all kept in giant neck-deep vats of water by seven-foot cats, we’re going to rue the day we didn’t pay more attention to our cats’ newfound love of plumbing, I’m afraid.

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