Now is the Time for All Good Citizens of Illinois to Weigh In

How are we scoring this Governor’s scandal?

Here’s my thinking.  I’m giving him an 8 for “You want my help selling Wrigley Field?  Stop the Trib from writing bad things about me.”  It’s audacious, but the hint of insecurity it reveals is unbecoming in a scandal.  We’ll call this category “Bullying.”

I’m whole-hog giving him a perfect 10 (shoot, I’d give him an 11, if I could) for his efforts to basically sell Obama’s senatorial seat for his own personal gain.  Category: Audacity.

I’m adding five points outside of regular scoring for even contemplating just taking the seat himself.

But I can only give him a 3 out of 10 for “Likelihood of success.”

So out of a possible thirty points, I’m giving him a 26.

What say you?

Three categories–Bullying, Audacity, and Likelihood of Success.  Ten points each.

23 thoughts on “Now is the Time for All Good Citizens of Illinois to Weigh In

  1. No homosexual affair? No call-girls? This scandal will soon slip off the front page, with a 1 for Interesting.

  2. This is AWESOME! I’ve spent the last hour glued to the TV. The bastard has been systematically looting the state treasury for years for his own benefit, and I can’t fucking WAIT to hear his response for his ‘defense.’

    I propose a new category: Stupidity, because even as he speaks about the possibility of being wire-tapped, he then TALKS ANYWAY! WhooHoo! I give him a 100!!

    I am proud to say I never voted for the asshole. Also, did you notice at some times when Patrick Fitzgerald’s head moved around the screen, it appeared he had a halo from one of the seals in the background? I hope the Daily show does something with that. You heard it here first!

  3. Peg, I’m so jealous that you get to watch it in real time! And I did love the Gary-Hart-esqueness of practically begging reporters to find him out!

    Here’s my question. From the news reports we’re getting here, it sounds like he’s saying that people shouldn’t have taped him because it would be like Watergate (as if that was a bad thing). Can you clarify?

  4. Indifferent Children, might I just point out that this is the second governor in a row we’ve lost to corruption? Certainly that adds something doesn’t it?

  5. Yeah, I was just about to post that in the list of groups of people who don’t take advantage of teachable moments, Illinois Politicians Irrespective of Party seem to rank fairly high. In my own memory, this goes back to Paul Powell, but I’m sure there are earlier examples.

  6. Over at Shakesville. Melissa brings up the best part:

    Illinois’ not-Obama Senator, Democrat Dick Durbin, has spent the past few weeks petitioning for clemency on behalf of the last Illinois governor, Republican George Ryan, who’s currently sitting in jail. (And, by the way, his defense attorney is the Illinois governor before him, Republican Jim Thompson. You can’t make this stuff up.)

  7. Yeah, I was just about to post that in the list of groups of people who don’t take advantage of teachable moments

    Just as long as you include yourself in one of those groups, NM.

  8. There hasn’t been much clarification since the press conference, and no statement so far from the governer’s office. Fitzgerald was extremely circumspect in not giving out other info that may impact the case. Today, PatFitz is THE MAN.

    Even here in the East Central (yo), major Red territory, the Gov is not well liked. I have a friend who refers to him as ‘BlowJobaVich.

  9. I’ll give him the full 30 points for hypocracy.

    You can lead a jackass to water, but you can’t make him drink.

    Corruption is deep and wide in IL, and he has plenty of jackasses at the trough beside him racing to suck up the water.

  10. Don’t blame me. I voted for Rich Whitney in ’06. But seriously, folks.

    It was George Carlin who described our political environment as “garbage in; garbage out.” We get politicians like Blagojevich because we don’t have sufficient courage and wisdom (collectively speaking) to give ourselves better. I look at Barack Obama and the nimrods he’s stocking his administration with, and I wonder if that’s the best we’ll ever do.

  11. On your scale, B, I have to knock off 2 points each in the categories of Bullying and Likelihood of Success. Dude tried to bully Childrens’ Memorial! Audacious, sure, and totally Burnsian in vileness, but you get points taken off for bullying sick kids. And there was no way he was getting away with this stuff, which he knew. There’s so much panic in the affidavit.

  12. I think it’s a testiment to Barack that he was swimming in that cellpool, surrounding himself with the most corrupt scum politics has to offer, yet kept himself completely pure and honest.

    Unbelievable, indeed.

  13. In all fairness to me, I hadn’t heard about the bullying of a CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!! until after I wrote this post. But I am stunned. It’s like, at some level, you’ve got to appreciate the man’s commitment to corruption. It’s like he thought, “Some day, I may be the bad guy in a movie. What are the most dastardly things I can do?”

    But, yea, I’m going to deduct two points from “likelihood of success.” I’m still going with 8 on bullying. I mean Kids come on! Any points I took away from bullying, I’d have to give to audacity.

  14. I thought he would get points for bullying on that. I mean, bullying…. kids…. with…. cancer. The whole point of bullying is not to take on those who are strong, but finding the weakest target out there and getting your shots in.

    The guy probably steals lollipops out of baby carriages.

    Seriously, there are folks in state government in New Jersey and Louisiana going, “Day-umn!!”

  15. Oh, come on. I’ve lived in NJ briefly, and I lived next door to IL for 30 years, and NJ isn’t even AA ball compared to IL. Never has been. The thing that’s shocking about NJ is how little most of the pols get out of it in comparison with IL, so you wonder why they even bother if not for honoring tradition and all.

  16. Seriously, there are folks in state government in New Jersey and Louisiana going, “Day-umn!!”

    ha, yeah, those guys in Louisiana are pissed right now and mapping out how to raise their game!

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