Don’t Count on Mrs. Wigglebottom for This

I can tell you right now that, if we had an armed intruder, the only reason Mrs. Wigglebottom would rush in from the other room would be to throw me in the line of fire to protect herself.  I’d have to shout, “Oh no!  That armed intruder is about to take your bone and give it to the cats!!!!!” to get her to take things seriously.

But I’d hate to be him, then.

Ha, but you know her.  She’d be all shot three times and she’d be running around like she hadn’t a care in the world.  I could pull the bullets out of her with a rusty pair of tweezers and she’d still be like “Is that all you’ve got?”

But god forbid I try to cut her nails.

Let me tell you, you hear all kinds of stuff about why the Fenris wolf bit Tyr’s hand off, but anyone with a pitbull knows the real reason is that Tyr came at him with nail clippers.

8 thoughts on “Don’t Count on Mrs. Wigglebottom for This

  1. The only time in 14 years Dobie has ever tried to bite me was the (one and only) time I tried to clip his nails.

    There ought to be a much better way.

  2. Not a dogowner, but wouldn’t a modified Dremel tool or small rotary grinder be better than a clipper for this? Or would this innovation get your head bitten off and pissed on?

  3. If they make any noise mine would be…. well, he’d be paralyzed, which on the surface might seem like a good thing but I don’t know if it would really help in my case. Fortunately we don’t have the peeing problem here tho.

    There is some new gadget out on the market in recent years (one of the As Seen on TV ones) that purports to be so much better than regular clippers, but every time I’ve looked at it I’ve thought I just don’t see that as being that much better.

Comments are closed.