Oh, I Forgot the Other Thing! Joelton is Unincorporated.

How the heck does a place with a watertower and a McDonald’s get away with being unincorporated?!  Who okayed the painting of “Joelton” on the watertower if not the Joelton town council?  Which must not exist, because it’s unincorporated.

I don’t know why this outrages me, but it does. How can you claim to be unincorporated if you have a watertower?

My True Blood Soundtrack

NM asked what kinds of music a person who didn’t watch True Blood should think of when she hears “The music of True Blood.”  Here’s the True Blood Soundtrack I’ve compiled, based solely on songs that intrigued me from the show.

1.  “Play with Fire”–Cobra Verde.  This is a Rolling Stones cover, and it sticks with you, whether you like it or not; it’s damn catchy.

2.  “Bones”–Little Big Town.  Can Fleetwood Mac sue for impersonation?  I’m not sure.  Basically, if you like Fleetwood Mac, but you don’t like Stevie Nicks’ voice and wish it were a hair more country, this is your song.

3.  “Stumble and Pain”–Joseph Arthur.  I haven’t listened to this song enough to decide what I think of it.  But it would seem as at home in the imaginary good sequel to The Lost Boys, so I’m calling it a good song for anything about vampires.

4.  “The Dreaming Dead”–Jesse Sykes.  I still can’t decide if I like this song, but it haunting.  I don’t know if it makes me think “Southern,” exactly, though.

5.  “Strange Love”–Slim Harpo.  I love this song, but I love songs that make you say, “What the fuck is happening here?!”  Can a person have a banjo voice?  Slim Harpo has a tragic banjo voice.

6.  “Y’all’d Think She’d Be Good 2 Me”–C.C. Adcock.  This song is so generically southern that, if you didn’t listen to it too closely, you’d think you’d already heard it a million times.

7.  “Good Times”–Charlie Robison.  Ha, I love Charlie.  I swear, he could fart at the table and I’d find it awesome.  Anyway, the song delivers what it promises.

8.  “Red Eyes and Tears”–Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.  I always feel like I should like these guys better than I do, but I don’t.  This song is like the alt.country version of Godsmack’s “Voodoo.”

9.  “Jack Me Up”–jeff laine.  I feel cheated by every day of my life that passed without this song in it.  “But holding the love of a woman is like holding water in your hand.”  That phrase right there is so beautiful that I sometimes just whisper it to myself to have the feel of the words fill up my whole mouth.  It seems at first listen just a song that is an ode to getting laid, but holy shit, it’s the best poetry about getting laid.  “Don’t worry about the rest of your life.  It’s going to happen anyhow.”

If you knew about this song and didn’t tell me about it, you’re on my shit list.

10.  “Brand New Cadillac”–I love Wayne Hancock so much.  And this song is a good example of why.  Hancock sings like he’s only got an inch-high slot to squeeze his voice through, or like you’re only going to hear him on a distant AM radio station and so he’s just given up on everything but the high whine.  That and the boogie.

11.”Cold Ground”–Rusty Truck.  This song is growing on me.  It also has some kind of country/Fleetwood Mac harmonies, which kind of cracks me up.

12.  “Sweet Jane”–Cowboy Junkies.  I don’t guess I have to say anything about this.

13.  “Everybody’s Got Somebody But Me”–Mildred Anderson.  There’s an organ!  And lovely organ playing.

14.  “Walking the Dog”–Rufus Thomas.  There’s clearly a dance you do to this.  I don’t know it.  But, if I did, I’d be obnoxious about doing it, so it’s probably for the best.

15.  “Bad Things”–Jace Everett. You know the song.  It’s like if Chris Issak and Dwight Youkum had a baby who inexplicibly decided mid-song to make it a poetry reading.

I think we can call this music more “Evoking a feeling of vaguely Southern foreboding” more than “Southern Vampire music.”

True Blood v. the OA Southern Music Issue

I have decided that my dream article to read would be the people in charge of the music for True Blood and the people in charge of the music for the OA Southern Music Issue talking about what they’ve decided is “Southern” music.  Are you trying to invoke a feeling of the South?  Are you featuring artists from the South?  Are you trying to set a mood that others will recognize as Southern?

It’d be interesting, for sure.