The only name that could possibly be more Illinois than “Roland Burris” is “Orion Samuelson.” (pronounced, for those of you not from Illinois as Or-eee-on, not O-rye-en.)
Edited to add: I wonder if you could make a general rule about good Midwestern names–like one part vaguely literary or historical figure, one part seed brand, and one part Scandinavian/Polish. Like, my name almost works because I’ve got the whole “Flag-maker” first name, the Scandinavian middle name, and a brand of gas for the last. But, if I were really going to be midwestern, I would for sure change my last name to Burris. Or Yoder. Which I guess is neither Scandinavian or Polish. But I like saying it. Yoder, Yoder, Yoder, Yoder.
Yep, you’re for sure in the midwest when the Yoders are bringing you sweet corn.
Oh my gosh, your last name is Unleaded?
You joke, but it’s been a burden and source of mockery of our whole family from time immemorial. We were always known as the kids who could never, ever, be turned into gold by alchemists.
We used to make up names from the counties as we drove through our lovely, corrupt state.
Fayette St. Claire
Shelby DeWitt
Marion Tazewell
Edwards Grundy
Try it in your state too, it’s fun!
On another side note, in the Champaign-Urbana Snooze Gazette each Wednesday there is a column by an Amish woman named Yoder! She writes about making food for enormous amounts of people all without electricity! I’m pretty sure the Amish are of German heritage (it sure as hell ain’t Polish), and I am also sure that I have purchased delicious cheeses from their shops down in Arthur.
Yoder is a very common name in Pennsylvania, courtesy of the Pennsylvania Dutch generally.
In Joliet, you always bought your corn from the Glasscocks. HA!
Yoder’s a little more Shipshewana for me, personally, but I was totally nodding in agreement to this post.
Yoder is very Kalona.