It’s Here

The bill to ban unmarried people from adopting children is here, submitted today by Senator Paul Stanley.

Yes, Citizens of Earth, the very day after the House had to hold a hearing because Representative Williams didn’t seem to understand he wasn’t being elected by his constituents to represent them at a giant frat party, some other elected legislator had the audacity to try to tell us about what’s appropriate morality.  See, they can fuck whoever they want whenever they want or die trying, but woe to you if you want to fall in love with someone and give a child a loving home, if you don’t fit what they think is right.

I’m sorry, but there shouldn’t be a single one of those motherfuckers who can even attempt to vote for this bullshit without being struck by lightning upon reaching for to cast their vote.  In a just universe, God would have these sorry, cruel motherfuckers by the ear, dragging them off to have a stern talking-to, because they are an embarrassment to the good name of Creation.

And, it’s not bad enough that Paul Stanley has to reveal himself as a heartless, cruel, motherfucker.  No.  It’s not enough for Stanley that he thinks he has the right to bring the weight of the state down upon your personal life, to bring the state into your bedroom to make sure you’re conducting yourself appropriately (though you know, you’re not allowed to stand around in Stanley’s bedroom to make sure he’s on the up and up.  Cops get called for shit like that.).  It’s not enough that he wants to bring the full weight of the state down on you to make sure you understand that you’re not a real family.

No.  To twist the knife as far as it will go, he throws in this little gem:

It is also the public policy of this state to place children into adoptive families that provide the most stable familial relationships for that child and will foster an appreciation for the policies of this state that favor marriage over unmarried cohabitation.

See?!  It’s not just about hurting potential parents.  It’s about placing children with adoptive families that will “foster an appreciation for the policies of the state!”  HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so now it’s not just about keeping kids out of the homes of fornicators and homosexuals, it’s about keeping kids out of the homes of liberals and libertarians of all sorts.  A family is now not just a group of people united by love, but a group of people united by love, tied together by the state, and who are dedicated to brainwashing children into believing that whatever the State believes is the best thing to believe.  And if you don’t believe that’s the case, this little law would establish that the State has a problem with that.  A problem Child Services might take an interest in.

Even if you believe that children are better off in married heterosexual families, clearly you’ve got to see the danger in defining “family” in a way that includes propagandizing on behalf of the State.

I am begging you, Democrats, if you can’t vote against this nonsense because it hurts unmarried people and gay people, vote against it because it’s not the State’s business to require you to foster in your children an appreciation for jack shit.

I mean, seriously.

I’ve Reached that Point

I guess there comes a point in every feminist’s career when being a feminist just ruins it for her and today, I have reached that point.  I want to drive up to the capitol and kick in the shins every person who is walking around all “Oh, don’t risk yourself, Lynn.” “Oh, this accussation will harm Lynn more than it will harm Williams.”  “Oh, boo hoo hoo.”  I literally cannot abide by this nonsense any more.

And then I read shit like this and I think, once I’ve hobbled assholes with my kicks of justice, I’m going to light a match and let that motherfucker burn to the ground.

See, I have lost whatever it is that lets you read

You no longer hear stories like the one about the House member back in the 1990s who got a staffer drunk and parked on a lonely road. While she was throwing up out the window, he ran the electric window up, trapping her under the chin. Then he pulled up her skirt and had sex with her. He’s gone, as is the legislator whose colleagues exited a club one night to discover he had a naked intern spread-eagled on the hood of his Cadillac. These stories may have been embellished over the years; no charges were ever filed or investigations launched.

and think “Ooo, how scandalous.”  I read that and I want to throw up myself, because I cannot read that and imagine myself in the position of the men.  Maybe this is a failure of imagination on my part, but I just can’t.  I don’t read those anecdotes and think, “Well, who can blame them for taking an opportunity like that?” or “Oh, maybe they had good intentions.”

I think of those “opportunities.”  If the woman barfing out the car window is a real woman, I wonder if she’s okay.    I wonder if an intern felt she could tell a legislator no.  And I hope she was fucking him because it made her feel powerful to have a powerful man want her.  I hope she wasn’t mortified or afraid when all his friends showed up.

But, mostly, I hope these are made-up stories.

But… and there’s always a but… with that, isn’t there?  But even if they are made up stories, what purpose does it serve that they’re spread around, still?  Are the women who hear them supposed to feel slightly afraid, like “Well, things like that could still happen.”?  Are the women who hear them supposed to feel grateful?  “Oh, sure, honey, I got drunk and grabbed your ass, but did you hear about the guy who had my job who had his way with women in your position?”  I mean, is it supposed to reinforced the notion that men are dangerous and only women who are willing to put ourselves in harm’s way should venture out among them? That women shouldn’t really be at the Capitol?  What?

I mean, no offense to Cagle.  He’s a fine writer and he’s probably making a good point.  But I can’t bring myself to give a shit if people who would do shit like that can have secret files made on them and then have those files used to blackmail them.  Who cares?  If you don’t want someone to find out about the evil shit you do, don’t do it.  If you don’t want to be blackmailed, don’t be blackmailable.  I mean, one of these examples is a criminal act.  That dude should be in jail.  If he can’t go to the police to complain about being blackmailed because it would reveal him as an evil rapist, oh, how terribly sad for him.

You Don’t Often See Headlines Like That

Over at The Flypaper Theory, Jeff points us to the story of a girl taken over by God during school in December.

My favorite parts are the headlines.  On the article itself

Was High School Girl Possessed In Class?

Girl Spoke In Tongues, Made Predictions For Future

and on the video

Was Student Possessed By God, Satan?

Because clearly she was possessed, so now it’s up to the hard-hitting news team to figure out by whom!  I would love to read the follow-up on that story.

Weddings, Funerals, and the Internet

We have this relative, C., who is the grandson of our grandpa’s sister.  So, his dad and my dad are cousins.  And we see C. only at weddings and funerals, but it’s understood that at said weddings and funerals, he will sit with us and our parents will sit with his and those two places will not be in close proximity to each other.

And we like him just fine.  You look at him and you look at the Butcher and me and you can see that a lot of traits that get blamed on my grandma’s side of the family must really have come from my grandpa’s.  But we only see him every few years at best.  He could be a raging skin-head for all I know.

But along comes the internet and now I go from hearing from C. only at weddings and funerals to hearing from him all the damn time.  And he’s always got some cool idea–Did you see this thing about Led Zeppelin?  If you could be one Lovecraft character, who would it be and how much dispair would you sew in the world?  Etc.

We would ask my Grandma A. to tell us about the good old days and she would look at us like we were crazy.  In her “good old days” she had to empty chamber pots every morning and even though folks were supposed to go out to the outhouse to poop, they often didn’t.  She told us that they’d have to pry her microwave from her cold dead heads.

I sometimes feel that way when I read people grouching about the internet and how much time people spend on computers.  Blah blah blah, maybe everything they say is true, but for me, it’s outweighed by my ability to keep up with people I thought I’d lost track of, and to meet new folks I now hold dear.

I just get so tickled by it all the time I about can’t stand it.