When I was growing up, my absolute favorite cousin was my cousin M., who was two years older than me and a dancer, and lived down the street from a little market with bottled Coke and a McDonalds. And she had tons of Barbies and a cool basement and a Barbie pool where we would play “Adam and Eve Barbie” and she would show me with the dolls what she’d seen on her mom’s soap operas. Which just goes to show you that even the Bible gives kids ideas. Bad ideas. And helps us learn about lesbianism, because who the hell ever had more than one Ken doll?
So, you can see, the Bible taught me all about hot girl on girl action! And yet, Republicans encourage that be taught in schools.
Where was I?
Oh, yes, so behind M.’s house were some woods in which a hobo lived and we would always sneak off into the woods to see if we could see the hobo in his shack. At least until my mom discovered that my aunt was letting us do this.
I don’t know. Now that I think about it, the whole thing was weird. For a couple of summers, my parents let me go spend a week up and my grandma and grandpa’s. Which, in retrospective, must have been terrifying for my dad. I mean, looking back at it, it must have been, because it only happened twice and both times they ended up coming to get me early, even though I was having a good time.
It’s not something I’ll understand. We were fucked up in a different way as a family, but I do wonder about it.
Anyway, so, after we were not allowed to tromping around in the woods and after my visits to Michigan were family affairs, we were still sent out to the edge of the yard, a little ways into the woods, to pick blackberries and raspberries, where they were growing wild. I remember there being a ton of blackberries and only a few raspberries, so, instead of making blackberry jam and raspberry jam, Mom and my aunt just threw them all in together.
From that point on, I guess I just thought they were the same thing.
Anyway, it’s one of those feelings that I still remember so clearly, the scratchiness and the juice all over our hands. If we cleaned up along the back fence, we could put berries there…