An Open Letter to Jeff Woods

Dearest Jeff,

Yes, I know how simply gauche that these little bloggers and their readers have the audacity to give money to the Democrats in such small number.  Why, just last night, I was at a cocktail party at the Frists and we were laughing over this very thing.  Who do these people think they are, only giving, what, $40 each and expecting that the likes of us should take them seriously?  The valets at that very party probably made $4,000 in one evening.  I’m sure your poolboy makes that in tips on warm afternoons.  Four thousand dollars?  That’s such a poor person amount.  It’s practically unseemly.

And, oh ho ho ho ho, I practically wept with laughter when I discovered that the money they gave didn’t go directly to Chip Forrester.  I mean, it was called ‘Chip In.’  And it didn’t even go to Chip.  Oh, these naive fools.  Tut tut tut.

You will be joining me for tea this afternoon at the Club, won’t you, darling?

In Snobby Solidarity,

Aunt B.

p.s. Just wondering, what’s the going ad rate at the Scene?  I mean is $4,000 something you scoff at all the time or just when other people bring it in?  Because I have a feeling that your sales department would be very happy if someone decided to land a $1,000 ad on Wednesday, did that at lunch, and then by Thursday had $3,000 from that account and a week later had $1,800 they weren’t expecting.  But maybe not.  What do I know?

And let’s talk about the hundred people for a second.  You know what your circulation is?  According to the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, it’s sitting at about 50,500.  What do you think a person’s rate of return on a mention in The Scene is?  If you write a story, say, about an exhibit at the Frist, how many people do you think go to that exhibit and put out money based on what you write?  Three hundred?  Five hundred?  Maybe two hundred?  I’m going to tell you straight up, if you combined all of the readership of the blogs who participated in this and weeded out the duplicates (excluding the Kos folks, who came into the mix late Thursday, if I’m remembering right), I’m betting you’re talking about a readership of somewhere around 7,500 people, possibly less, if I’m overestimating the Knoxviews numbers.

You see what I’m saying?  You tell 60,000 people about something, and maybe 300 people decide to open their wallets.  We tell, maybe 6,000 people about something, and 60 of them decide to open their wallets (again, excluding the Kos folks).

So, yeah, you keep going with your “Oh, isn’t it cute how ineffective the bloggers are!” story.  It’s a lovely fairytale.

16 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Jeff Woods

  1. Pingback: Misplaced Affection : Post Politics: Political News and Views in Tennessee

  2. I’m just outraged and laughing that the going meme about this whole thing seems to be that we didn’t do anything all that special.

    That? That’s what they’re going to settle on? That it wasn’t a big enough deal?

    Okay, whatever.

  3. You’re about a third of the way to paying Chipper’s salary for the month. That’s your sole accomplishment.

  4. There goes Newscoma again, quoting Margaret Mead… that evil pagan tree-hugging, latte-sipping, Birkenstock-wearing, namby-pamby, loosey-goosey, artsy-fartsy liberal.

  5. I know it. I’m nutty that way, Ben
    Why are people bitching over at the Scene if we are so ineffective, sitting in our jammies or going to cocktail parties?
    We just wanted to be heard. We were and there you go.
    But, you know, thanks to the Scene for keeping this alive and all.
    Good show, Woods. Good job.

  6. As Sean noted, federal money can be used to pay staff salaries. Forrester said Monday on Liberadio! that he does not have any staff right now. He is the only staffer, which means his is the only salary that must be paid. He is paying himself $120,000 a year, $10,000 a month. You have more money to raise to cover his salary.

  7. Skipper is trying to burst your bubble. Everyone did an outstanding job.

    Off topic for a second: as I mentioned on my site a week ago my computer and email has been hacked by someone who lives in my condo building using my router, which of course show my IP address. They have posed as me in posts, and have even invented another email address using my name. Because it’s an ongoing investigation, I can’t say anymore, but just make sure the address above is the only one you know is mine. They got all my emails, so it’s easy for them to pose as me, and they have done so.

    B, if you would like more info, that girlfriend of yours you went to high school with Angie Carol King, I think you call her “ACK” by her initials for short, can fill you in on how intense this is–she probably knows because of a person she works with and knows my part in it and how the Secret Service is even involved. It’s intense, the last thing I needed with all I’m going through right now, and those who believe in prayers, I need them.

    I had to say all of that because of something you thought was me, but hey, it was good to know how you feel.

    Nonetheless, make sure it’s me. Regardless of how you feel about me, I want you to remain safe. Because there was a flurry of emails that involved your name prior to the hacking, which the bad guys have, they can easily put together things about you. The truth will come out when the case and the SS and AG are done., but if you can’t wait, call your old high school buddy ACK(don’t email) Of course, feel free to call me and I’ll explain as well. But email? Be careful.

    Now back to the subject at hand. Everyone did an amazing job and don’t let anyone burst your bubble. I wrote the same of at Pith. I mean, bloggers raised their modest goal within hours. Had bloggers had a fundraising committee and months to work on a fundraiser, I have no doubt a hundred thousand or more could have been raised.

    And what Newscoma said. I’m proud to say (call me arrogant if you must, but I’m not) I’ve raised millions in my life for charities and the party, with everything stacked against me. Every single person who participated in “Chip In” could do that, too. I’m not better for doing what I’ve done–but I just got out there and did it and if you do the same thing, then y’all will kick my ass in fundraising—and in that case, I’d love nothing more.

    Y’all did a great job. Never let someone tell you “you can’t.”

  8. Who do these people think they are, only giving, what, $40 each and expecting that the likes of us should take them seriously?

    Of course, we need to take our cue from the TN GOP and run with our hands out to Lee Beaman every time we need funds for something. Because there what could possibly go wrong when just one or two super wealthy people foot the bill for a political party?

  9. Pingback: » The Internet and Politics

  10. For what \”party\” did Sharon Cobb ever raise money? The Australian Democratic Party? The Democratic Party of the Moon? She has never raised a dime for any Democratic Party in the United States.

  11. All right, god damn it, I have to live here and I’m not going to live in a place where anonymous people are taking potshots at Sharon Fucking Cobb. You have a problem with her or you want to call her crazy or whatever. Fine. There are a million places you can do that. This is not one of them.

Comments are closed.