So, I had lunch with the Gentlemen from Louisiana, though we never did get around to talking about Nat King Cole.  We did talk about New Orleans, photography, and ghosts.  One Gentleman was a firm unbeliever and the other was in my camp, which is mostly disbelief except when weird shit happens.

But interestingly enough, both men were convinced that, if a ghost could exist, it would, clearly, either haunt where it was improperly buried or haunt a person–that a ghost has to have a reason for being here.  He’s not just hanging out.  And, once he’s achieved whatever he needs to achieve, he can go on to the afterworld.

So, they seemed to be of the opinion that the backyard could not be haunted unless the old man was buried there.

But I’m fairly certain that the only things buried in my back yard are a few housepets and the dead cat the Butcher found a couple of months ago.

I also, obviously, talked to my dad.  It’s been a year ago this month that he had his bypass surgery, so he’s going in for a lot of check-ups with a lot of different doctors.  I have my concerns, obviously, that he’s not doing as well as he pretends to be.  But lately he seems better, so maybe January was just a bad month for him.

He’s really frustrated because, even though he goes to the gym every day and is following the nutritionist’s guidelines, he has ceased losing weight and is, in fact, gaining it.  He thinks he needs to start walking in the mornings again.  This will be, then, about three hours a day that he exercises (right now, he’s spending between an hour and two hours a day at the gym).

I am of two minds on this.  On the one hand, I about want to strap him down and force him to read some Shapely Prose and to learn to just have some mercy on himself.  If he’s able to exercise as much as the doctors want him to and his health metrics otherwise look good, well, we come from fat people.  He is a fat person.  Being fat is not some great failing.  It just is what it is.  On the other hand, though I thoroughly reject the weight gain or loss as a cause of or solution to problems stuff, I do think that it’s obvious that weight gain or loss can be a symptom of some problem or problems.  Granted, I’m biased because my whole life I’ve been just an uncontrollable glutton who refuses to exercise and eat right and that’s why I’m so fat and no one will ever love me, when really, when I completely revamped my diet and got a dog and walked every day, I still gained weight because I had a medical condition it would have been nice if someone had picked up on instead of seeing my fat as proof of my shittiness as a person.  Not that I have a soapbox about that or anything.

So, my point is that, if he’s eating the same stuff he ate when he was losing weight and he’s exercising the same amount as when he was losing weight and he’s gaining weight, there may be a problem.  And I hope he doesn’t get all caught up in the “I’m just not trying hard enough” bullshit and has the doctors view it as a possible symptom of some other problem.

You know what I’m saying?

And the Butcher is bummed and I don’t know what to do for him.  I don’t know that there’s anything I can do for him.  Still, I worry.

Some Things for You to Look at While I’m Having Lunch…

…and I think we’re going to be talking about Nat King Cole!  I swoon!

1.  Senator Diane Black finds it too inconvenient to meet with the people of the state that she wants to fuck over.  Well, Senator Black, it’s not nearly as inconvenient as discovering that your state legislature continues to try to treat you like you’re not quite human.

2.  Kevin over at Lean Left just about blew my mind with this.  His walk-through of how liberals v. lefties view To Kill a Mockingbird is pretty amazing.

3.  Yep.  That’s one of the weirdest things to adjust to.  When you’re working a shitty job, not only do they want your body for 8-10 hours a day, they want to control your attitude about doing the job.  When you’re working a middle-class job, you do what you’re told 8-10 hours a day, but no one seems to expect that you like it.

4.  I’m actually glad to see Sarah Palin talking about how we have to get beyond the ideal of abstinance.  That’s the kind of folksy truth-telling I can appreciate.

5.  If you’re interested in how Facebook is doing you wrong, Rana’s got a great explanation.  The best part, though, is how she reveals that, in order to have discovered that, by using Facebook after the TOS changed, you had to have used Facebook after the TOS had changed and thus, in discovering the change, you implicitly and accidentally agreed to it!

6.  Holy shit is right!

Terry Frank Strays Off the Path

Well, folks, you will be happy to learn that there are “fidelity rates of 75-90 percent in heterosexual couples,” according to Terry Frank.

Seventy-five to ninety percent?  Man, if that’s true, I guess that means DNA testing all fathers before they go on birth certificates is a huge waste of time and money.  Whew.  I’m glad to know that’s off the Republican agenda.

On a more depressing note, Pith goes over what is on the Republican agenda.  Basically a whole litany that can be summed up as “If we’re not oppressing you, we don’t feel free.”

Douchy McDoucherson

I know it’s bad form to complain about people on the internet and you know you’re only getting my side of the story so maybe there’s some reasonable explanation for all of this and I’m just such an evil giant bitch that no one can actually stand.  But, if you go from my bed to my friend’s bed and I have to find out by seeing your car at her house the night before you told me you’d be in town on my way to the grocery store… I mean, my god, when you don’t even think enough of me to pull the car around back where I won’t see it on a route I have to take every day or two…

The chances of me meaning it when I say never contact me again are at about 99.9%

But, 35 year old man, if you are going to contact me again, ” i hope u are well.  what’re u up to these days?  hope all is well.  talk to u later.” is not going to cut it.  You want to contact me but you’re too lazy to use the shift key?  You can’t be bothered to spell “you” out?  You’re not 15 and you didn’t text message me.  And that’s the first impression you want to give?

Jesus Christ.

Breaking Douchbag News! So, I called my dad to chide him for not telling me the information I needed to keep from stepping in it the other day and he apologized and was mortified (thus leading me to believe that this may indeed be the end of days) and we were talking and I mentioned getting an email from Mr. McDoucherson and how I couldn’t believe that, after all this time, he’d contact me and my Dad said, “That is strange.  You’d have thought that, after I refused to give him that money, he’d have been done with our whole family.”

“WHAT?”  McDoucherson asked you for money?!”

“To start a children’s ministry.  I said ‘no’.”

Folks.  Can you believe it?  You do me wrong in a most non-Christian way and then you hit my Dad up for money?!  To start a ministry?!

I am speechless.

And I can’t believe my dad never told me that until now.