Breaking News, Sadly, Not of the Douche Kind

1.  My peppers have sprouted.  I didn’t think it would be warm enough for them, but, like sullen teenagers getting out of bed, they seem to be shrugging, looking at the sun, and saying, “Whatever.”

2.  I am Republicanless, so I assume his woman took him back.

3.  I am also Butcherless, so I don’t know how his interview went.

4.  My recalcitrant brother bought my mom a beer steine.  Let me remind you that my mom doesn’t drink.

5.  Breaking douche news still cracks me up and it’s been days.

6 thoughts on “Breaking News, Sadly, Not of the Douche Kind

  1. Nothing! All fat buds as far as the eye can see, but no blooms. Are they pooping out on me? Do they need a stern talking to? Is it just still too soon?

    Daffodils!!!!!! I shake my fist at you.

  2. It’s still too soon, I guess. Remember, those bulbs are new to Nashville and they aren’t used to local weather patterns yet. If you have fat buds as far as the eye can see, they are progressing just fine, and soon you will have yellow flowers all around. Bulbs are finicky and perceive microclimates where we humans don’t: a couple of dozen have bloomed in my front yard already, but the back yard ones are just starting to form buds, and they go through this pattern every year.

  3. Oh, the ones that have blooms on them are the ones the old owners left us, that were a surprise. The new ones aren’t near ready yet. No buds.

    But I’m still watching.

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