I don’t get paid enough to contemplate Stacey Campfield’s penis. I’m not sure how much would be enough to make me willing to contemplate Stacey Campfield’s penis, but believe me, if I were paid to contemplate Campfield’s penis, I would go all in, with some kind of disguise and a fake penis myself and I would follow him into the bathroom and to local watering holes. I would take pictures. I would track down other people who had seen it and interview them about their feelings about it. I would draw pictures of it and hang those pictures in the Frist Museum, while dodging the security guards.
I’m just saying, in general, that, I don’t want to contemplate Campfield’s penis, but, if I were paid to do it, I would go about it thoroughly and professionally and I would share my findings with the world.
Not being paid, though, and not wanting to contemplate Campfield’s penis, I’m stuck in the unpleasant position of having to consider Stacey Campfield having sex. Which, as you may know, often invoves his penis.
And yet, as long as Campfield’s talking about having sex, I have to think about him having sex and… well… here we are. I’m thinking about Campfield’s penis.
A review of a video recording of the committee session shows the exchange followed Richardson’s declaration that men who have sex with a woman have put themselves in a position of becoming a father.
“We need to be honest here. We’re not walking out on a street and picking men willy-nilly to be someone’s father,” said Richardson. “These are men who had sexual intercourse with this woman… men where there is a very good biological reason (to suspect paternity).”
Interjected Campfield: “Sherry, if I had sex with you, I wouldn’t want to pay for your children.”
“What did you say?” said Richardson. (Note: Rep. Sherry Jones is another member of the committee who had spoken against the bill and who also ultimately voted no.)
“If I had sex with you, I wouldn’t necessarily want to have to pay for your children,” replied Campfield. “If I were not the father, I don’t think that would be appropriate.”
So, here we are, forced to think about Campfield having sex. And I’m going to be honest, my first thought was that no conservative Christian woman are going to have sex with Campfield because they don’t have sex with men they aren’t married to and no libertarians are going to have sex with Campfield without him using a condom and them being on some form of birth control and no liberal woman who knows him is going to be able to have sex with him since his antics cause arid tightening in Democrats, so Campfield talking about potential kids he might or might not have is a little beside the point.
But my second thought is about how classy it is of Campfield to insinuate that the women on the other side of the discussion were sluts, that, if they were willing to fuck him, of course he couldn’t be sure they weren’t fucking other guys.
And, yeah, that’s kind of insulting.
But, then, I have to wonder–what if that is actually what Campfield has to face? That he can’t take for granted that any woman who would be willing to have sex with him would be willing to have sex with him exclusively?
And, frankly, that makes me kind of sad.
If you practice monogamy, it’s not too much to to expect a partner who does as well. Many, many people have monogamous relationships; it’s completely workable and something that can happen for anyone who wants one.
BUT (and of course there’s a ‘but’), you have to look for it and work at it. You can’t just say “I want to be able to have sex with whomever I want, and I want her to only have sex with me.” You have to be thoughtful and discerning. And yes, even then, you might get metaphorically screwed while you’re getting literally screwed, but still, not every woman is going to fuck you over and if you keep ending up sleeping with women you can’t trust, at some point, you need to step back and take a hard look at why you continue to sleep with women you can’t trust.
But this is another way that the current arrangement (yes, the “patriarchy”) sucks for conservative men, too. Sure, on the surface, it seems great that there are girls you marry and girls you fuck, because you get to fuck girls, but buying into this idea that girls who fuck outside of marriage are bad girls means that, if you are fucking outside of marriage, you are fucking bad girls who may lie to you and scam you and trick you.
And, when faced with scheming women out to do you wrong, you have two choices. You can either work harder to keep the current arrangment in place–“Hmm, I want to fuck bad girls, but I don’t want to get conned into paying for kids that aren’t biologically mine, so I will ask the State Legislature to pass laws that will protect me from getting conned like that, even if it means treating all women like they’re lying con-artists.”–or you can make some other arrangement–“Hmm. Maybe I should let go of this crazy idea that only bad girls want to fuck outside of marriage and look for girls who won’t do me wrong to fuck. And, if I’m worried about being scammed, I could use a condom when I have sex. And treating women like human beings with sexual desires and not just monitary desires would make me less of a douchebag, which would also increase my chances of getting laid! Hurray!”
I’m just saying, if you’re Campfield or like Campfield, maybe you try the second thing first.
Tiny Cat Pants 