My God Demands Your Suffering as a Sacrifice and Other Random Things

–The tiny cat is actually running around and playing with things behind the couch.  I just can’t tell you how much this tickles me.

–Can we all just agree that Lars Krutak is the thinking person’s Chris Pontius?

–Rachel has been named by Library Journal a “Mover and Shaker.”  And yet, I have heard nothing from Grouchy Recluse Journal.  God.  I’m so jealous.

–“See, it’s like this.  God says I have to be a giant asshole and oppress you or else he’s going to drop Tennessee into the ocean.  It could be worse, thought, you know.  God could say that I have to cut your still-beating heart from your body or burn you at the stake.  So, really, you understand.  My God demands sacrifices and must be appeased and the sacrifice He demands is your suffering and heartache.  That’s how you know He’s a loving God–because he’s not demanding your life.  Isn’t that awesome?  Don’t you just feel the love of Jesus Christ?  Don’t you want to be a Christian, too?”

4 thoughts on “My God Demands Your Suffering as a Sacrifice and Other Random Things

  1. > Don’t you want to be a Christian, too?”

    Why does that line sound like the end of a Dr. Pepper commercial, to me?

  2. I feel like I should confirm, for the record, my undying love of Chris Pontius, which is growing to also include Lars Krutak.

    Ha, indifferent children, it does a little bit. Must be the influence of my husband, Diet Dr Pepper.

  3. Your hubby sounds like a sneaky devil, considering he’s only a few inches high.

    Oh, wait, that would make it easier for him to be sneaky.

    That does it — he’s in cahoots with the Tiny Cat. I’m sure of it. They practice quantum teleportation in dark corners.

  4. I was once annointed as a god in the Church of the SubGenius / Church of Slack. Or I would have been, had my annointers not slacked, which is precisely what made it official. I think Grouchy Recluse Journal would work much the same way, your status is elevated by not having required other grouchy recluses to grouse.

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