We’ll Travel ‘Round the World. We’ll Dress Like Minnie Pearl. ‘Cause…

Ha, it brings a smile to my face to know that, if you recognize the title of this post, by this point in your reading of this very post, you’re saying to yourself, “If you don’t have Mojo Nixon, then your store could use some fixin’.”

Anyway, I wanted to report that, thanks to my awesome up-the-ridge neighbor, Liz, my bottle tree is now complete.

And someone sent the Butcher cookies.  Again.  I don’t know if this is some sweet little girl trying to get his attention or if he’s joined some kind of homemade-cookie-of-the-month club or if he’s just raiding other people’s mailboxes to bring home sweets their grandmothers intended for them or what, but I like it.

It’s been a hard winter around here, but it’s also been really good, too.  We have good friends and good fortune and I feel like I’m slowly learning to be less of a reclusive freak.  Kind of.  Okay, maybe only a little less.  But I feel compelled to try to learn to be as good to people as they have been to me.

13 thoughts on “We’ll Travel ‘Round the World. We’ll Dress Like Minnie Pearl. ‘Cause…

  1. My husband and I had “Minnie Pearl” on our short list of girl names, but mostly to horrify my parents and make our friends laugh.

  2. The amount of people around town who have little “Sarah”s and little “Sarah Cannon”s in honor of her is kind of stunning to me. It’s one of those things that, when I hear about it, I kind of have to la la la la la my way into forgetting.

    Don’t get me wrong, if you knew Sarah Cannon, I have no problem. Name all your kids after her if you want to.

    But if you just want the hipster cred of naming your kid after Minnie Pearl with the ultra-hipster cred of doing so in a way that only the really cool kids will get? Ugh, then please don’t tell me about it.

    And I kind of think Minnie Pearl is a lovely name. Certainly no worse than Francis Bean.

  3. Maybe they want to name the girl after Minnie Pearl because they think Minnie Pearl was cool, but they don’t want to set her up for a lifetime of teasing?

  4. The real obstacle to naming anything Pearl in my family is my great-aunt Pearl, who was a bitch on wheels. Since my parents were convinced that personality attributes are bound up in names, we had to find a name that no one else in our extremely large family had ever thought about naming a kid. It’s hard on Kid having the name Motherfucker Woodrow, but she’s made her peace with it, I think.

  5. Oh my god! Motherfucker Woodrow is the Butcher’s real name!!!! What are the chances?

    Ha ha ha ha ha.

    Bridgett, comments like that make me want to run away with you.

  6. I am going to pay to have Motherfucker Woodrow put on the back of La Fishmouth’s soccer shirt. The other kids won’t be able to read it yet, but the fear it will create in their parents will translate to the kids running away from her and letting her score many many goals.

    Psychological warfare at 4 years old. Oh YEAH. We are there, y’all.

    The real obstacle to naming anything Pearl in my family is my great-aunt Pearl, who was a bitch on wheels.

    HEY! You say that like it’s a BAD thing. My great-aunt Pearl was immortalized by her brother, my evil grandfather, as “a woman who could cut a big man, bad, and not need no knife.” Though I don’t carry her name, I carry her sharp tongue proudly.

  7. I Hate Banks
    by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper

    I hate banks
    I just can’t stand ’em
    Gimme a shovel and man, I’ll plant ’em
    Six feet under thats where they belong
    I hate banks is the name of this song

    I think I’ll rob myself one or two
    Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how ’bout you?

    Well…lend me a nickel & lend me a dime,
    Repossess my house any old time.
    Financial institutions think they’re so hifalutin
    Just a bunch of fruits in three piece suits
    Trying to steal all my loot.

    Things are smelling pretty rank,
    We must be near a stinking bank.
    Smells worse than Rockefeller’s feet,
    Wall Street can eat my meat

    Yeah throw the moneylenders out of the temple
    I hate banks its just that simple.
    Royal Crown Pomade Tin
    Is the best thing to keep your money in.
    Mason jar is okay too
    if you see a bank, well you know what to do.

    Now, lemme tell you people something
    The only banks I like, well, I like Ernie Banks alright.
    And I like the banks of the Mississippi River
    Yeah, and I like banks of Fender Twin reverb
    Electric guitar amplifiers behind me, raging on the stages

    Well, when I walk in they treat me like a dog
    Want to hit them in the head with a doo-doo log
    Republicans, one and all
    Their talleywhackers are mighty small.
    Stealing from the poor gonna give to the rich
    Wanna make the bank president twitch in a ditch.

    Yeah, see that teller with the blue hair,
    Giving me the evil-eye stare
    Won’t cash my check, don’t like my ID
    Got the security guard after me.
    If I was E. F. Sloane,
    I’d say the Dow Jones can suck my bone.

  8. I met Mrs. Cannon a few times when I was in college. She was a lovely, kind, generous woman. There were many reasons people loved her. That said, I wouldn’t name my daughter after her. I have often thought that if I ever get another dog, I might name it after her, but I’d do it in a Robbie Robertson way that even the ultra-hipsters wouldn’t get. I’d name her Ophelia.

    Ashes of laughter, the ghost is clear.
    Why do the best things always disappear?

  9. Just you and me…

    Anyway, re: “But I feel compelled to try to learn to be as good to people as they have been to me”: you’re already +1 ’round these parts.

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