On our way to dinner, my dad said, “What you don’t understand is that you’re scary. You frighten people. People are afraid of you. If you lost 80 pounds you would rule Tennessee. You would be like Attila the Hun and Richard Simmons. People would get out of your way and then follow you. You really truly scare people. You have to understand that.”
And then, at dinner, he couldn’t understand why I only ate half of my meal.
I was about to launch into some tedious explanation about what the metformin does to my appetite in the evenings. But I didn’t bother. I mean, apparently I could rule Tennessee if I just lost 80 pounds. And I think we all have some ideas of what I would do to this state once it was under my thumb.
The good news is that we will have legalized ultimate fighting. The bad news is that at least one fight each evening must contain a Republican state legislator.